Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

haleychellex

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

haleychellex

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2949
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About haleychellex : Bios aren't my cup of tea, dollfaces. x

haleychellex's page activity

Visits<b>Syruphs</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:50am<b>tyler_jay</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:08am<b>xxrush2112xx</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:07pm<b>smoothcriminal69</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 4:21pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 11:46am<b>ArtemisPrime</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 9:35am<b>miwako</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 10:18am<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 6:13am<b>CaBur</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:28pm

haleychellex's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of haleychellex's badges

haleychellex's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

#21297437
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34642) - you deserved it (3276)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21am - love - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44127) - you deserved it (3857)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37725) - you deserved it (4683)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after moving to a new neighbourhood, I went to meet my new neighbour. When she opened the door, all she said was, "Oh not you again!", and shut the door in my face. I have no memory of her. FML

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41470) - you deserved it (3790)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I swapped out my maternity gown for a regular old t-shirt. My visiting mother-in-law called me a fatass and said I need to lose weight. I'd given birth just 40 hours earlier. FML

Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML

#21294024
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (2474)

On 11/07/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by NoToBombs - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

#21293180
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (2676)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:53am - work - by HelpMe1 (man) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36486) - you deserved it (2409)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my dad telling his friends that the only way I'll ever sleep with a woman is with the help of Rohypnol. FML

#21292660
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25866) - you deserved it (2414)

On 11/05/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by chlorobitch551 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML

#21292603
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34123) - you deserved it (3318)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:57am - health - by AAnonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

#21291174
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35939) - you deserved it (3019)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:54am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36549) - you deserved it (5830)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38529) - you deserved it (10846)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

#21289746
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34958) - you deserved it (4729)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: