About haleychellex : Bios aren't my cup of tea, dollfaces. x
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haleychellex's favorite FMLs
by WalkTheOtherWay / 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by UnidentifiedFun / 01/31/2015 at 1:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML
by The Soul Of A Damned Queef / 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Idek / 01/30/2015 at 11:27am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Work
Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 8:35am / Australia / Love
by anon / 01/19/2015 at 12:35am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML
by pissed out pants / 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2015 at 11:34am / Ireland / Health
by sophiae123 / 01/17/2015 at 10:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
by Anonymous / 01/17/2015 at 1:11pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/14/2015 at 2:18am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML
by RipeFlame / 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm / United States (Florida) / Love