Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

haleychellex

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

haleychellex

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1952
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About haleychellex : Bios aren't my cup of tea, dollfaces. x

haleychellex's page activity

Visits<b>Syruphs</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:50am<b>tyler_jay</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:08am<b>xxrush2112xx</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:07pm<b>smoothcriminal69</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 4:21pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 11:46am<b>ArtemisPrime</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 9:35am<b>miwako</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 10:18am<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 6:13am<b>CaBur</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:28pm

haleychellex's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of haleychellex's badges

haleychellex's favorite FMLs

Today, I was mowing my grandma's lawn when I was suddenly swarmed by bees. When my grandma saw me covered in stings later on, she said, "Oh yeah, there are tons of bees in the grass! Be careful!" FML

#21274044
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32585) - you deserved it (2221)

On 10/09/2014 at 2:51am - health - by bees - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I missed work for the third time this week. My dog gets lonely when I'm away and has found out how to shut off my alarm clock. FML

#21273263
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34072) - you deserved it (4910)

On 10/08/2014 at 12:21am - animals - by fckUrex - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

#21272259
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38403) - you deserved it (3769)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm - misc - by thanks babe - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

#21272255
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35422) - you deserved it (3658)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML

#21272098
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40123) - you deserved it (3892)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:46pm - love - by kittenfish8903 (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

#21270711
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42127) - you deserved it (8720)

On 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by SadMother - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

#21270631
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38503) - you deserved it (4166)

On 10/04/2014 at 12:31pm - misc - by runsinthefamily (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and head butted me. Now there is just an awkward silence. FML

#21270556
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32940) - you deserved it (3867)

On 10/04/2014 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

#21270463
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33768) - you deserved it (9719)

On 10/04/2014 at 1:43am - intimacy - by manymisfortunes - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35806) - you deserved it (4220)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, the only reason I work 12-hour shifts and close at midnight every Saturday is because my boss doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. FML

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30083) - you deserved it (3817)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39377) - you deserved it (4800)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

#21268628
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37425) - you deserved it (4554)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm - kids - by Potforapeso (man) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: