haleychellex

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/25/2016 at 3:34pm)

haleychellex

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7226
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About haleychellex : Bios aren't my cup of tea, dollfaces. x

haleychellex's page activity

Visits<b>Syruphs</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:50am<b>tyler_jay</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:08am<b>xxrush2112xx</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:07pm<b>smoothcriminal69</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 4:21pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 11:46am<b>ArtemisPrime</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 9:35am<b>miwako</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 10:18am<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 6:13am<b>CaBur</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:28pm

haleychellex's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of haleychellex's badges

haleychellex's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom insisted on making my lunch. She didn't know that knives are banned at my high school, and packed me a steak knife for cream cheese. I'm now suspended for 7 days, and she refuses to say that she did anything wrong. FML

by megangubler / 05/26/2014 at 6:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

by PsychoBillyGoat / 05/25/2014 at 8:47pm / United States (Alaska) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML

by HomicidalPegasus / 05/25/2014 at 11:50am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

by fucking hell my eyes burn / 05/23/2014 at 6:46pm / Germany / Intimacy

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

by nikaea / 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2014 at 6:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

by What am I doing with my life? / 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

by bruised_scrotum / 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

by GimmeLaCoffee / 05/15/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

by oh god. / 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

by veggiedude / 05/07/2014 at 11:01pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy