Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

haleychellex

Offline (yesterday at 6:30am) | Search for a member

haleychellex

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1945
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About haleychellex : Bios aren't my cup of tea, dollfaces. x

haleychellex's page activity

Visits<b>Syruphs</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:50am<b>tyler_jay</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:08am<b>xxrush2112xx</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:07pm<b>smoothcriminal69</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 4:21pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 11:46am<b>ArtemisPrime</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 9:35am<b>miwako</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 10:18am<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 6:13am<b>CaBur</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:28pm

haleychellex's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of haleychellex's badges

haleychellex's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31342) - you deserved it (2319)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30442) - you deserved it (3705)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29439) - you deserved it (2840)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29390) - you deserved it (3518)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30377) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML

#21303728
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (3280)

On 11/22/2014 at 5:16am - work - by Carnage23 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26320) - you deserved it (3083)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

#21302690
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29628) - you deserved it (3241)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:20am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (2953)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

#21299619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31596) - you deserved it (4162)

On 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by back to cock-hunting (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

#21299484
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25058) - you deserved it (7091)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML

#21298977
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30899) - you deserved it (3162)

On 11/14/2014 at 2:09pm - love - by overseasbummer - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31155) - you deserved it (3449)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, one of the patients on the mental health unit where I work looked me up and down and said; "Well, I guess it's a popular misconception that all fat people are jolly." FML

#21298006
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28985) - you deserved it (3961)

On 11/12/2014 at 9:48pm - work - by thefatnurse - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML

#21297687
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40182) - you deserved it (4251)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by honey, no boo-boo (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: