Search for a member

Offline (the 10/20/2016 at 10:23pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 773
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

halcyon93's page activity

Visits<b>swervelol</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 8:01pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 10:58pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 6:57pm<b>OliverX</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 9:16pm<b>Sharlock93</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:46am<b>OfficialTjaye</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 5:27pm<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 8:59am<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:52am<b>fuckme_328385</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:53pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 9:50pm<b>marianajade</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 8:30pm<b>magicviper1</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 3:33pm<b>oomph</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 9:20am<b>Tizashie</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 11:38pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:40pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 5:51am<b>MonstreBelle</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:48pm<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 1:25pm

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 12:57am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 1:01am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:43pm

halcyon93's FML badges


Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of halcyon93's badges

halcyon93's favorite FMLs

Today, two aggressive police officers appeared at my door informing me that a complaint was filed about my 18 year-old son having "inappropriate relations" with a 16 year-old. We live in England. I had to Google the law to prove to them this was legal. FML

by Confuseddad / 02/16/2016 at 5:17pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

by wet dreams / 02/12/2016 at 12:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML

by tooembarrassed / 02/12/2016 at 10:13am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, my mailman refused to deliver my mail for an undetermined amount of time, because my 8 year-old, arthritic dog, who can barely walk, "made him feel threatened." FML

by cassie0216 / 02/01/2016 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dick of a roommate was moving out. She didn't actually tell us she was moving out and took the wifi, modem and all, while my other roommate was on a Skype call and I was watching a show. All with no warning. It's Saturday, I have an online assignment due Sunday. FML

by slightlyfamous / 01/17/2016 at 8:59am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2016 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

by frediqqq / 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

by failuretolaunch2 / 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

by pissed out pants / 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

by Dog_Lover / 12/18/2012 at 10:30am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous