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halcyon93

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halcyon93

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 November 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 486
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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halcyon93's page activity

Visits<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 5:51am<b>MonstreBelle</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:48pm<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 1:25pm<b>hyperreader</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 4:28am<b>stryggzy</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:45pm<b>YumeWolf</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:09pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:44pm<b>guesswhatlifesux</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:48pm<b>Rysal5</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:16pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:27am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 4:43am<b>jason202700</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:20pm<b>LogicalNightmare</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 1:18am<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 12:19am<b>CharmeKetsueki</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 12:01am<b>sarika</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 10:00pm<b>LauraAnn33</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:28pm<b>EmikoShiriyuki</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 7:36pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 1:01am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:43pm

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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halcyon93's favorite FMLs

Today, my mailman refused to deliver my mail for an undetermined amount of time, because my 8 year-old, arthritic dog, who can barely walk, "made him feel threatened." FML

Today, my dick of a roommate was moving out. She didn't actually tell us she was moving out and took the wifi, modem and all, while my other roommate was on a Skype call and I was watching a show. All with no warning. It's Saturday, I have an online assignment due Sunday. FML

#21516189
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (2054)

On 01/17/2016 at 8:59am - misc - by slightlyfamous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML

#21515762
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14315) - you deserved it (26331)

On 01/16/2016 at 12:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

#21494790
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27985) - you deserved it (2602)

On 11/20/2015 at 9:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35458) - you deserved it (4622)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

#21339686
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41029) - you deserved it (3712)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50071) - you deserved it (7020)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46618) - you deserved it (7825)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67661) - you deserved it (15475)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33972) - you deserved it (9324)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8872) - you deserved it (36927)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

#14248345
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33494) - you deserved it (3768)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36247) - you deserved it (153391)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)



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