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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 November 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 425
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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halcyon93's page activity

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Fucked!<b>dylanger16</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:43pm

halcyon93's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.


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halcyon93's favorite FMLs

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35116) - you deserved it (4588)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40693) - you deserved it (3684)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46267) - you deserved it (7771)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML


I agree, your life sucks (67243) - you deserved it (15380)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33623) - you deserved it (9253)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8767) - you deserved it (36576)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33151) - you deserved it (3744)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (75754) - you deserved it (5063)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (36334) - you deserved it (4762)

On 02/15/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Salaryman (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

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