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habez

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habez

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 200
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About habez : Hey, and I'm not a human, I'm a unicorn!!!!!

habez's page activity

Visits<b>andyhitts25</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 1:54pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 8:30pm<b>Tommiix</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 10:30pm

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Consolation prize

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habez's favorite FMLs

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41996) - you deserved it (10396)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42267) - you deserved it (7250)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got proposed to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we have 2 kids. It was perfect, except it was my ex-boyfriend who proposed to me. FML

#20901818
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45206) - you deserved it (5389)

On 09/30/2013 at 10:47am - love - by courtnayy (woman) - United States

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38827) - you deserved it (8198)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

#20901560
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44040) - you deserved it (3322)

On 09/30/2013 at 2:02am - work - by 3 More Months (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

#20899979
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40783) - you deserved it (4487)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:16am - work - by browngirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48683) - you deserved it (6366)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML

#20897826
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42023) - you deserved it (6082)

On 09/27/2013 at 8:51am - love - by propose_you_freakin_coward (man) - Singapore

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

#20896646
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (2954)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51257) - you deserved it (6278)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51257) - you deserved it (6278)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

#20888741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46330) - you deserved it (8242)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:23am - love - by hoolagirl4422 (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63027) - you deserved it (2824)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52278) - you deserved it (4790)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43237) - you deserved it (3988)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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