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Offline (the 08/28/2015 at 8:14pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 November 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4573
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About haasje2000 : Hi!

haasje2000's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 4:00pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 1:59pm<b>dilara_xo</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:57am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 5:54pm<b>TobyBossah</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:06pm<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 12:21pm<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:48pm<b>Psychosys</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:12pm<b>15Erik</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 3:09am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 12:58pm<b>Psychosys</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:11pm

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haasje2000's favorite FMLs

Today, after an 8-month wait, I went on my big vacation. The beach, the sea, the dive, the jellyfish, the allergic reaction, the hospital. FML

by Mush / 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Miscellaneous

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

by jack / 08/27/2015 at 6:56am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss / 08/26/2015 at 9:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss broke off our relationship because he said it's inappropriate. I really liked him, but I accepted it and respected his integrity. A few hours later, I found out he's now dating my colleague. FML

by salope / 08/26/2015 at 4:33am / Work

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2015 at 3:45am / India (West Bengal) / Love

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

by whovian221b / 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm / United States / Health

Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML

by FlyAwayPlease / 08/25/2015 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (Flintshire) / Love

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

by NocturnalFox / 08/25/2015 at 3:46pm / Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj) / Love

Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML

by shit.jpg / 08/25/2015 at 3:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. It went okay, so we exchanged numbers. An hour later, he started messaging me, asking for pictures of my poop. What.. the... hell? FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cousin's husband argued adamantly that the Earth doesn't rotate, and treated me like an idiot when I explained why he was wrong. Not even a video from space of the Earth rotating convinced him. This idiot is a teacher. FML

by Schizomaniac / 08/25/2015 at 1:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML

by Shelling Ford / 08/25/2015 at 7:55am / Germany (Bayern) / Love

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

by Anon / 08/25/2015 at 6:10am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 2:49am / United States / Kids