gymnast_1313

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gymnast_1313

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 321
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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gymnast_1313's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of gymnast_1313's badges

gymnast_1313's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML

by magomag / 05/14/2013 at 12:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

by NOIDIDNOT / 11/19/2012 at 1:21am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2012 at 1:46am / United States / Love

Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML

by Nickie809 / 09/17/2012 at 10:59am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 9:54am / Greece (Attiki) / Health

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

by N / 05/07/2012 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

by hjkashld / 04/23/2012 at 9:48pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my hatred for IKEA reignited when I rammed my knee into my hotel bathroom's plexiglass counter top while I was drying myself off. Their interior designer must have have been suffering brain damage when she matched everything with the floor tiles. FML

Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML

by Username / 08/20/2011 at 5:20am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend had blonde hair, big boobs and wore a skimpy black dress. He wasn't 100% sure of her name. I guess I drove home my date's one night stand. FML

by lawl / 05/07/2011 at 9:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

by Mayshod / 05/03/2011 at 8:04am / Miscellaneous

Today, my twelve year old neighbour decided to give a Hannah Montana concert in her backyard, starring herself. Unfortunately, she only knew three lines of the song "The Best of Both Worlds" and screamed them repeatedly at the top of her lungs. FML

by Angie / 03/24/2011 at 3:07pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, with only a Santa hat on. FML

by meikd423 / 09/10/2010 at 12:36pm / Intimacy