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gymnast12

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gymnast12

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gymnast12's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75011) - you deserved it (8780)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44577) - you deserved it (3888)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

#20011112
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15327) - you deserved it (19793)

On 08/09/2012 at 7:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

#20009566
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34496) - you deserved it (3739)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

#20003299
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22226) - you deserved it (2955)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

#20002813
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32150) - you deserved it (1593)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML

#20002582
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (1599)

On 08/04/2012 at 6:15pm - misc - by bellsucker - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that when you hear a bump in the night, it's best not to check your parents' room. Some things cannot be unseen. FML

#20001682
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14739) - you deserved it (19159)

On 08/04/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by alyssabree42 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56511) - you deserved it (10347)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#19967014
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24771) - you deserved it (4399)

On 07/21/2012 at 4:00am - kids - by It was the 11 year old - United States (Texas)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33329) - you deserved it (2840)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

#19797334
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44554) - you deserved it (2117)

On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

#19787758
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29265) - you deserved it (7828)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by a chick in California - United States (California)



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