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Mobility
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Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20318) - you deserved it (3057)
On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23147) - you deserved it (2057)
On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (2884)
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (5809)
On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16236) - you deserved it (2509)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by Ameel (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21069) - you deserved it (4373)
On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34478) - you deserved it (5460)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22862) - you deserved it (12744)
On 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (28725) - you deserved it (5809)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)
Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27048) - you deserved it (2616)
On 01/26/2011 at 2:48am - kids - by Braelynn -
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (15707) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (49859)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13580) - you deserved it (52668)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13960) - you deserved it (18593)
On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47831) - you deserved it (2178)
On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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