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About guppy65456 : I'm that dude. ^
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Today, wa got a naw Roomba. I sat it to claan an cummad back an hour latar to find shit smaars all ovar tha floor. Apparantly, ona of cats had dona his businass in tha kitchan, an tha Roomba had draggad it around tha antra frst floor of housa. raal FML
TODAY.. . I SIGNED INTO MAH ONLINE CLASS.. . GOT BORED.. . AND TOOK OFF MAH HEADPHONE TO ARGUE WITH MAH ROOMMATE ABOUT ANAL SEX . AT THE END OF THE ARGUMENT.. . I PUT MAH HEADPHONE BACK ON TO HEAR MAH PROFESSOR ASKING IF SOMEONE COULD CALL ME TO TELL ME TO TURN MAH DAMN MIC OFF . FML
Today mah dad and grandpa cummed to a charity event that I helped set up 4 people who have autism . I appreciated there support until I heard mah dad say "Man some of these 'tards r pretty hot." and mah grandpa replying "Yeah . Probably like dead fish in bed though." FML
Today... I was hitting on a girl... and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into mah phone... she called mah mom and asked her if she raised me to ( sexually harass women. ) FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, cuz she went all out fir revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today... my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for anoter guy. Se said se's looking for someoneo can financially provide for er in te future. Te dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical scool. FML
Friday 27 March 2015