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gummybears99

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gummybears99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4147
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gummybears99's page activity

Visits<b>Austrand22</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 10:07pm<b>capper44</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:51am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:46pm<b>SWC_Penguin</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 8:18pm

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gummybears99's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

#21279992
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28921) - you deserved it (3068)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by KayyElOh94 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29081) - you deserved it (3338)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38654) - you deserved it (5505)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36266) - you deserved it (3044)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37723) - you deserved it (5908)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36449) - you deserved it (4627)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31484) - you deserved it (15617)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34448) - you deserved it (3448)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33675) - you deserved it (4895)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

#21278689
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35268) - you deserved it (2465)

On 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm - health - by BoobiePain - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (3731)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25822) - you deserved it (52024)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

#21278162
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39518) - you deserved it (4645)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by burritobreasts -

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34614) - you deserved it (4593)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States



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