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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML
by subtweetqueen / 09/09/2016 at 12:18am / United States (California) / Kids
by Gottabekidding / 09/08/2016 at 8:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
by mista hunna / 09/08/2016 at 1:31am / United States (Maryland) / Animals
Today, I went on a blind date. Things got hot and heavy, but when he pulled off my pants and saw the Pittsburgh Penguins logo on my thong he stopped and told me to get dressed and that he refused to sleep with the enemy. He was a die-hard Flyers fan. FML
by Thatgirl112 / 09/07/2016 at 11:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by full moon / 09/07/2016 at 10:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by AnxiousCucumber / 09/07/2016 at 4:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by ripped / 09/07/2016 at 10:57am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/06/2016 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/06/2016 at 9:36am / Estonia (Tartumaa) / Miscellaneous
by SuperShy / 09/06/2016 at 12:29am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Ihatemyfamily / 09/05/2016 at 5:46pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by guh / 08/31/2016 at 11:54am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Intimacy
by meglast / 08/29/2016 at 12:48pm / United States (Texas) / Health