gummybears99

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Offline (the 07/21/2016 at 5:20am)

gummybears99

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14597
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gummybears99's page activity

Visits<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 2:18am<b>rnarshmallow</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:37am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:25am<b>capper44</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:51am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:46pm<b>SWC_Penguin</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 8:18pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:29am

gummybears99's FML badges

Santa Claus

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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gummybears99's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML

by Courtney / 05/26/2016 at 8:12am / United States / Work

Today, the first thing I noticed about my blind date was the clump of nose hairs sticking out and mingling with his beard. In an effort to not stare, I periodically glanced away. After a while, he asked which guy I was into at the table next to us, because I was spending so much time looking in that direction. FML

by anonymous / 05/25/2016 at 11:45pm / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, I went into my kitchen after placing a line of salt across the floor in front of the back door the night before to ward off slugs that keep getting in, only to find 12 idiotic slugs dead and shrivelled up, leaving a horrible gooey mess. I don't know why I expected any intelligence from them. FML

by Spongebob Garypants / 05/25/2016 at 10:05pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals

Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML

by teflon_hammer / 05/25/2016 at 7:19pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I felt an itch on my neck. naturally, I scratched it. After about 5 minutes of scratching, I realized that I've been scratching a dead fly on the back of my neck. FML

by Hamden824 / 05/25/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

by longest minute / 05/25/2016 at 7:28am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I babysat my neighbor's twin 4-year-old girls again. When I took them out for lunch, they apparently had been addressing themselves as "my bitches", taught to them by their devil spawn 13-year-old brother. Everyone, including Chuck E. Cheese himself, was not pleased. FML

by Ban Hammered / 05/25/2016 at 6:35am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, upon my arrival at work, I was greeted by 2 police officers, 2 managers, my coworker, and a meth-head in my office. They quickly told me that the meth-head was wearing stolen merchandise under her clothes, then left me alone with her, saying I had to watch her undress. FML

by Undercover_Agent / 05/25/2016 at 2:04am / United States (Iowa) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to change my usually stoic behaviour and be friendly to a coworker. Now she is convinced that I finally went insane and intend to murder her. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2016 at 10:05am / Work

Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML

by LongDriveNoSleep / 05/24/2016 at 6:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my 9-year-old sister to an ice cream shop. There we met a boy about her age, who started a conversation with her, told her she was pretty and they ended up exchanging numbers. I'm 24 and so far I've never succeeded at getting a girl's number like this. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2016 at 6:30am / Ukraine / Love

Today, the checkout guy at my local store asked me if I had my hair cut. I answered and started talking about my hair, and he gave me a really weird look. He was talking to his friend, who I hadn't noticed in the queue behind me. FML

by figcurzyez / 05/23/2016 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in class, my friend would not stop annoying me by tapping me on the shoulder every so often. After the fifth time, I lost my patience, told him to F off, and slapped his hand. Only it wasn't my friend tapping my shoulder this time, it was my teacher. FML

by gettinganF / 05/23/2016 at 7:57am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML

by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my two year old has learned new things from his best friend. His best friend is our dog. He's learned to eat dog food, lick people, and now he's started taking off his diaper to lift his leg and pee. FML

by proud parent / 05/21/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (Texas) / Kids