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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
Today, it's the second day of being in Estonia with my boyfriend and his mom, visiting their family. I don't know much Estonian, but I can say short words and phrases. My boyfriend later informed me I've been mispronouncing "Thank you," and actually saying "Help me." I was wondering why people have been laughing. FML
by avenue24 / 07/06/2016 at 5:08pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I cringed at a memory of 5-year-old me going to restaurants I was brought to and stealing tip money because I thought it was free. I got to watch a kid do the same thing to me. Oh, sweet karma. FML
by ThisChick / 07/06/2016 at 1:59pm / United States (Louisiana) / Money
by Poordaughter5 / 07/06/2016 at 1:21pm / Germany / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hanging out with a friend at an ice cream place, and a guy started chatting with us. As he eventually went to leave, he told me "That's a nice looking date you got there." Then he turned to my friend. "Wish I could say the same to you." FML
by rmonk / 07/06/2016 at 8:17am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Lifetime Presents: / 07/06/2016 at 7:50am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Jioune / 07/05/2016 at 5:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
Today, I woke up to my husband chuckling. When I asked him what was so funny. He told me that during the night I attempted to shove one of the kids' pacifiers in his mouth. I don't remember this, at all. He thinks it's hysterical. I'm not sure what to think. FML
by Binkplugged / 07/05/2016 at 2:01pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
by ZeldaovaPeach / 07/05/2016 at 8:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML
by Finn / 07/05/2016 at 2:49am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my friend's little brother's birthday party. A few of the younger kids were hitting me with a pool noodle, and I didn't really care until a 9-year-old loudly exclaimed, "Hit her in the pussy!" FML
by punmessiah / 07/04/2016 at 2:09am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by drpepperking10 / 07/02/2016 at 7:27pm / United States / Love
Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML
by disappointed / 06/30/2016 at 11:31pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, my sister asked me, while making a cup of green tea with honey, "I wonder why they call it honey," to which I reply, "Probably some Greek or Latin word meaning 'to sweeten'." She stops, turns and with a serious face asks, "Where exactly is Latin?" FML
by Anonymous / 06/30/2016 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by sayroshi / 06/30/2016 at 2:29pm / United States / Kids
by You're Not a Wizard / 06/30/2016 at 8:29am / Work