Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

gummybears99

Offline (yesterday at 9:57pm) | Search for a member

gummybears99

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6235
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

gummybears99's page activity

Visits<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:25am<b>capper44</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:51am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:46pm<b>SWC_Penguin</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 8:18pm

gummybears99's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of gummybears99's badges

gummybears99's favorite FMLs

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33201) - you deserved it (2639)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a seizure. FML

#21327166
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27379) - you deserved it (3264)

On 12/30/2014 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by GladYoureConcerned (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML

#21326529
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27530) - you deserved it (3090)

On 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML

#21325704
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28630) - you deserved it (7173)

On 12/28/2014 at 4:07am - kids - by angryman -

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31135) - you deserved it (2882)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, I was chatting with the girl of my dreams, a real heart-to-heart. Everything was going great, and I asked her if she'd like to get coffee together sometime. She immediately backed away and excused herself, mumbling something about not dating left-handed people. Huh? FML

#21325382
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30884) - you deserved it (2309)

On 12/27/2014 at 4:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

#21325373
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29014) - you deserved it (4475)

On 12/27/2014 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my fiancé proposed to me. He said, "I could have picked anyone, but I chose you. You're a solid 2, which is average. Not a 10, but I'm glad you're a 2. Less pressure, ya know." I'm not sure if I should be more upset with the fact that I'm "average", or the fact that he thought this was romantic. FML

#21325203
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33625) - you deserved it (3559)

On 12/27/2014 at 9:55am - love - by SupposedlyAverage (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML

#21324827
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29781) - you deserved it (3100)

On 12/26/2014 at 6:06pm - love - by GOAWAY - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

#21324815
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14213) - you deserved it (34805)

On 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my little sister randomly came up to me and said: "Aww, don't be sad. Even ugly people can get boyfriends." She then smiled, patted my back, and walked off. I wasn't actually sad before, but I am now. FML

#21324793
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (2757)

On 12/26/2014 at 4:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, my obsessive stalker of an ex found my girlfriend on Facebook and sent her a message saying just ":)". For some reason I'll never understand, she took this as a sign that I'd just slept with my ex. Now I'm single, and my ex is probably planning her next move. FML

#21324775
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (2281)

On 12/26/2014 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to drive my husband to hospital after he tried to burn his pubes off with a lighter as part of a bet. On the upside, he probably won't be bugging me for sex for a while. On the downside, I'm married to a moron. FML

#21324724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31240) - you deserved it (4859)

On 12/26/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by If IQs could be negative... (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I told my father I'm going to a club with a friend and staying the night at my friend's place. He asked for my friend's name, number, and address so he knows where I'll be. I'm 30 years old. FML



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: