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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to endure my father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university because it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums. This is the same man who threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2014 at 10:44pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by omgdesdes / 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/15/2014 at 8:22pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by That_Indian_Guy / 11/15/2014 at 8:25am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML
by gspotter / 11/14/2014 at 4:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health
by PPP / 11/13/2014 at 10:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
by HoobidibooFox / 11/13/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML
by really / 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
by nenette / 11/12/2014 at 5:50pm / France / Animals
by anonymous / 11/12/2014 at 12:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML
by izzy46111 / 11/11/2014 at 11:56am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML
by mouthwash / 11/11/2014 at 12:05am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/10/2014 at 9:28am / Germany (Berlin) / Love
- Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I… Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's… Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate…