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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
by nick / 01/12/2015 at 3:23am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work
by janegeorge / 01/11/2015 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML
by StabStab / 01/11/2015 at 8:03am / Belgium / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/11/2015 at 12:56am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, I went to the supermarket with my husband and kids. A crazy old man started yelling at us and challenged us to fight him outside. Security had to escort us to our car. Why was he so mad? Our cart momentarily blocked his path to the beef jerky samples. FML
by gotta_respond / 01/10/2015 at 2:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by sisterlylove / 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by kb / 01/10/2015 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2015 at 4:17pm / United States (New Mexico) / Work
Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML
by sayhey22 / 01/09/2015 at 10:33am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML
by EvilBubbles / 01/08/2015 at 10:45pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Intimacy
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
by anonymous / 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by exuberant_orange / 01/08/2015 at 10:56am / United States (Florida) / Love
by bailey_biz / 01/08/2015 at 7:52am / United States (New York) / Love