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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
by i fuckin love habaneros / 07/22/2016 at 3:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/22/2016 at 12:14am / United States (Montana) / Transportation
Today, I spiced things up by lying on the bed and pouring melted white chocolate on myself. I called out to my fiancé to come in. He was 'checking' his favourite scene in Batman vs Superman and couldn't hear me. I was stuck unable to move for ten minutes until he finally heard me. FML
by Chocolaty / 07/21/2016 at 8:48pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML
by gamerlaura / 07/21/2016 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Gwynedd) / Health
by ENDmySUFFERING / 07/21/2016 at 11:25am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Kids
Today, my iguana tried to eat my hand. Taking that as a sign of being hungry, I gave him a bowl of fruits and veggies. After he finished the bowl, he tried to eat my hand again. My iguana's an asshole. FML
by Mj / 07/19/2016 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by aurora320 / 07/19/2016 at 3:50pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Love
Today, I bleached my upper lip hair so it wouldn't be visible anymore. At school, for the first time, the guy I like came over to talk to me after class. Just as I thought he was about to ask me out, he told me how weird my "gold moustache" looks. FML
by HolyyMolyy / 07/19/2016 at 10:32am / India (Madhya Pradesh) / Miscellaneous
Today, I sent my grandfather a picture of me because he hasn't seen me in years. I guess I should wear makeup next time, because he sent back a heavily photoshopped and cropped version and told me how beautiful I look. FML
by Photoshopped / 07/18/2016 at 12:34am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Not true / 07/17/2016 at 10:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by pittmanw / 07/17/2016 at 10:54pm / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy
by PseudoHappiness / 07/17/2016 at 8:16pm / United States (Missouri) / Money
by Need To Bathe In Deodorant / 07/17/2016 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
by ladams94 / 07/17/2016 at 2:39pm / Work
- Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…