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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
Today, I met with a student in office hours to discuss an assignment when my nose started bleeding. I didn't know at first, so I blew my nose and an inhuman amount of blood sprayed out the side of the tissue all over my desk, the wall, and the student's paper. It looked like a murder scene. FML
by the bleeder / 05/13/2016 at 1:05am / Miscellaneous
by shrutisoma / 05/12/2016 at 12:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Chin... uh.... / 05/10/2016 at 6:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, I surprise-visited my uncle after not seeing him for 4 years because of college. When he opened the door to his house, he was wearing Crocs. Of course, that would have been completely fine if it weren't for the fact that they were the only thing he was wearing. FML
by Scarred Nephew / 05/10/2016 at 6:28pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, a woman kindly asked if she might take a photo of her son in our cowboy boots. Thinking it couldn't do much harm, I agreed. Ten minutes later there was a butt naked three year-old and his entire family taking pictures in my shoe store. My manager wasn't impressed. FML
by jasonvanr / 05/10/2016 at 4:19am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
by Erin / 05/09/2016 at 10:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick up a few things from the store for him while he was at work. After picking up everything he asked for, I wasn't left with much money so I used $50 from my account. When he got home he then grumbled about me spending all of "his" money. FML
by dessy / 05/09/2016 at 5:37pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I visited a waterpark with friends. At one point, a woman floating near me suddenly says to me, "How are you doing, honey?" Instinctively, I replied, "I'm well". The woman gave me a strange look and I turned around to find she was talking to her child directly behind me. FML
by Sloppy Cashmere / 05/09/2016 at 5:26pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 5 year-old daughter saw me getting ready to sit down in a fold-out camp chair, and told me, with a big smile on her face, "Daddy, you're too fat to sit in that chair. You'll break it with your big butt." Out of the mouths of babes, I guess. FML
by antwhite1987 / 05/08/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/08/2016 at 6:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/08/2016 at 4:42am / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/06/2016 at 9:40pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by sakurabloom / 05/04/2016 at 4:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I got my graded essay from my teacher. Earlier, he'd said that it was "too specific", and that I should change it to be "more general and debatable". Now that I've got it back, the first comments on the paper are, "Your thesis is too general, be more specific." FML
by Super Confused / 05/02/2016 at 7:59pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I want on a date with a man I met on the internet. While talking over drinks, I asked him what he did for a living. He said he was a salesman, and that he's really good at it. Interested, I asked him what it was he sold. "Cannabis." FML
by socksxox / 05/02/2016 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love