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gummybears99

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gummybears99

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11676
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gummybears99's page activity

Visits<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 2:18am<b>rnarshmallow</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:37am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:25am<b>capper44</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:51am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:46pm<b>SWC_Penguin</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 8:18pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:29am

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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gummybears99's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother called me a clueless idiot after I told him that odometers measure distance traveled, not a person's body odor. FML

#21493984
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23114) - you deserved it (1692)

On 11/18/2015 at 10:42am - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

#21493972
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21286) - you deserved it (1603)

On 11/18/2015 at 9:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

#21493785
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (8727)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

#21493255
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25514) - you deserved it (3285)

On 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by weldingmachine217 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML

#21493135
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29385) - you deserved it (2421)

On 11/16/2015 at 7:25am - love - by I Know How to Pick'em - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

#21493038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25524) - you deserved it (4733)

On 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by nnniii - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML

#21492877
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20841) - you deserved it (1760)

On 11/15/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by grapes - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized when I'm on my phone, I tend to play with my penis, even in public. FML

#21492545
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14124) - you deserved it (25891)

On 11/14/2015 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by BashyDaBest - United States (California)

Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML

#21492507
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22155) - you deserved it (7402)

On 11/14/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by nonymous human subject - United States (California)

Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML

#21492366
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23755) - you deserved it (1891)

On 11/14/2015 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the man of my dreams turned out to be the worst kisser I've ever encountered. I now have a huge hickey on my chin to remember the experience by. FML

#21492333
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21308) - you deserved it (2169)

On 11/14/2015 at 2:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML

#21492071
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22160) - you deserved it (2421)

On 11/13/2015 at 11:32am - misc - by eyegouger15 (man) - United States

Today, I got several angry messages on Facebook, demanding to know how I could cheat on my wife. They didn't believe me when I said I had no idea what they meant. Turns out my wife made a sarcastic post about my "new mistress". She was talking about Fallout 4. FML

Today, I was so tired when I got home from work, I took off my bra without removing my shirt which I've done so often it is second nature. I successfully removed the bra, then snagged the clasp on a loose shirt thread, causing my bra to take on a life of its own and slap me in the face. FML

#21491942
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20854) - you deserved it (3036)

On 11/13/2015 at 12:47am - misc - by fryebaby623 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I yawned so hard that I dislocated my jaw completely, then had to ask to be excused from class in front of 30 people with my mouth hanging open. FML



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