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gummybears99

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gummybears99

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8288
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gummybears99's page activity

Visits<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:25am<b>capper44</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:51am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:46pm<b>SWC_Penguin</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 8:18pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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gummybears99's favorite FMLs

Today, during a date with my girlfriend, I found out you can hiccup hard enough to convince someone that you're having a seizure. FML

#21375726
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28552) - you deserved it (2279)

On 03/16/2015 at 3:15pm - misc - by redneckpunk (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ate a wonderful meal, after which I fell asleep on my couch and had a dream that my husband was passionately kissing me. I woke up to realize it was actually my cat licking bits of food out of my teeth. FML

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35145) - you deserved it (3920)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

#21370915
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31813) - you deserved it (5780)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:13am - intimacy - by fruitoftheloom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was told that I need to learn to "let things go" by a woman who held a four-month grudge over a ham sandwich. FML

#21370791
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27000) - you deserved it (2143)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:36pm - misc - by NoHamForMeThanks - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

#21369958
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106) - you deserved it (13)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49) - you deserved it (116)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28022) - you deserved it (2483)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31162) - you deserved it (6475)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29756) - you deserved it (3167)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30117) - you deserved it (2471)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30308) - you deserved it (3287)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36838) - you deserved it (8137)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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