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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
by Crawlinginmymemes / 10/02/2016 at 2:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
by anonymous / 10/01/2016 at 5:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by Fffhjno / 09/28/2016 at 2:15pm / United States (Utah) / Kids
Today, I was so proud I'd fixed the toilet with a hardware store part without even having to call a plumber. As I happily put the lid back on the tank, I dropped the lid, which broke the tank, spilling water everywhere. Now I need a new toilet, a new floor, and I have to call the plumber. FML
by HomeChump / 09/28/2016 at 1:49am / United States (Illinois) / Money
by DrawingWaves / 09/27/2016 at 6:36pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, two months into my new marketing job, I presented my first webinar live to over 300 people. Half the audience complained about the horrible sound quality, saying all they could hear was a Mickey Mouse squeaky sound. Turns out it wasn't the sound quality, it was my voice. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2016 at 5:29pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
by Screamslikeagirl / 09/27/2016 at 3:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by ashleighsheba / 09/27/2016 at 12:43pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML
by ShameMonkey / 09/27/2016 at 6:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
Today, it's my last day at my job because I'm moving to another city. My boss handed me a card and chocolates. The same boss that didn't sign the card because, "Even though you're a great employee, I probably won't remember your name in a fortnight." I've been there three years. FML
by Bawsack / 09/26/2016 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Work
by Fat and Embarrassed / 09/25/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/25/2016 at 8:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I went in for an audition. Since my wrist had been in a brace all week, I felt I would be fine without it for one day because I didn't want it to be a distraction. I tripped in the middle of the dance routine and crashed on top of my injured wrist. FML
by Braceyourself / 09/25/2016 at 1:44am / United States (California) / Health
by b.fritz / 09/24/2016 at 6:02am / United States (Missouri) / Love
by LoadingMeows / 09/22/2016 at 9:17pm / United States / Work