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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son was waiting in the car for me after driving around to build up hours for his permit. He then decided it was a good idea to quickly drive over to catch a Pokemon nearby. He didn't count on getting pulled over for texting and driving while underage without an adult though. FML
by ButItWasRareDad! / 08/03/2016 at 6:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by nullpointer / 08/03/2016 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML
by TheVagabond_SRG / 08/02/2016 at 2:46am / United States (Texas) / Work
by :( / 07/31/2016 at 12:18am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 07/29/2016 at 4:33pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to a customer, when I choked on my spit. After I could breathe again I was so embarrassed I said the first thing that popped into my head, which was, "I'm sorry, I don't know how to swallow." FML
by sweet / 07/27/2016 at 10:50pm / Transportation
Today, I finally got together with this great guy I've had a crush on for a while. He told me before that he is quite inexperienced, which usually doesn't bother me at all. Turns out "inexperienced" translates to "I will include your nose and chin in our kissing" in this case. FML
by Kiss-a-thon / 07/27/2016 at 6:01am / Germany / Love
by BodyElectric / 07/26/2016 at 1:06am / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/25/2016 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Geek
Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML
by StateOfEuphoria / 07/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health