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gummybears99

Offline (the 02/23/2015 at 2:22am) | Search for a member

gummybears99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6167
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gummybears99's page activity

Visits<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:25am<b>capper44</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:51am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:46pm<b>SWC_Penguin</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 8:18pm

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gummybears99's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML

#21334002
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (3770)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

#21333313
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37238) - you deserved it (2458)

On 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
113 comments

Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

#21332502
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33823) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by MonsterProblems (woman) - Croatia

Today, I finally noticed after months of having the same cover photo on several websites, that it looks like I have a bushel of armpit hair due to a shadow. FML

#21331000
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25067) - you deserved it (4282)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by pits (woman) -

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years old. FML

#21330918
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26874) - you deserved it (5619)

On 01/04/2015 at 9:50pm - love - by myboyfriendisweird - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30540) - you deserved it (2787)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (6160)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

#21329522
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27417) - you deserved it (2190)

On 01/02/2015 at 7:11pm - animals - by cat co-parent - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

#21329462
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33965) - you deserved it (6793)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24626) - you deserved it (11231)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)



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