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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
Today, I met the old couple I would be house-sitting for. As I was leaving the lady stuck her fist out towards me. After a seconds awkward pause I thought she wanted to fist-bump so stuck mine out and bumped. Turned out she was handing me the key. FML
by Krystl / 09/18/2016 at 12:35pm / Australia / Work
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
by sweetdreams / 09/18/2016 at 2:39am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by mercumorr / 09/17/2016 at 8:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I was told I have narcolepsy, and I've it for a year and a half. When asked why I didn't go to a doctor before, I answered that I'd always assumed it was a normal adult thing to fall asleep randomly because of how everyone says they're always exhausted. Apparently not. FML
by littlekellilee / 09/16/2016 at 12:27am / Canada / Health
by Randomspaghetti / 09/15/2016 at 5:11pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/14/2016 at 8:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by kmyltd / 09/14/2016 at 2:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Garry the Gluten-Free Pizza / 09/13/2016 at 5:17pm / United States / Transportation
Today, while at the gym, I started flirting with a hot doctor. I thought things were going well so I suggested we work out together sometime and maybe work our way up to dinner together, to which she replied, "Sorry but I've seen tumors bigger than your biceps," and then walked out. FML
by hahatofunny / 09/13/2016 at 3:54pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, in science class, I was bored and playing with a paper towel, dipping it into a container of water. When my teacher caught me and asked what I was doing, I panicked and said I was 'drying the water'. FML
by slitherasssnape / 09/13/2016 at 2:53pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/13/2016 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Evjoel / 09/12/2016 at 6:52am / Bermuda (Hamilton) / Work
Today, I was performing for a fairly large crowd with my band. I decided it would look cool to stand on one of the speakers and sing from there. It did look pretty cool for a bit until I tried to step off and fell face-first on the floor mid-song. FML
by MarsMayFall / 09/12/2016 at 5:56am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, someone spilled ammonium hydroxide in ethanol solution in the lab, which smells like very concentrated urine. Since the experiment involved Bunsen burners, we couldn't turn on the fans. We had to work in a lab that smelled like Satan's piss for 2 hours. FML
by r1has / 09/12/2016 at 4:21am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Miscellaneous
by harambae / 09/11/2016 at 1:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…