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gummybears99

Offline (the 03/30/2015 at 12:20am) | Search for a member

gummybears99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6832
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gummybears99's page activity

Visits<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:25am<b>capper44</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:51am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:46pm<b>SWC_Penguin</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 8:18pm

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gummybears99's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33348) - you deserved it (3384)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

#21354210
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33121) - you deserved it (6075)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by titsmcgee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

#21352624
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32641) - you deserved it (2995)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by wtf?? - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

#21351119
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26692) - you deserved it (4193)

On 02/06/2015 at 7:57pm - misc - by go fuck myself - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

#21350938
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (2536)

On 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by valarmorgoolies (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33757) - you deserved it (3409)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28556) - you deserved it (4815)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37044) - you deserved it (4217)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

#21349488
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29383) - you deserved it (2221)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Sprinkles (man) - Australia

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that "pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

#21349360
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32314) - you deserved it (2356)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:39pm - misc - by FrustratedTutor - United States (Kansas)

Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML

#21349054
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32592) - you deserved it (1670)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34397) - you deserved it (2331)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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