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gummybears99's FML badges
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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML
by NotASquirrel / 03/12/2016 at 12:29am / United States (New York) / Work
by no paedo / 03/11/2016 at 3:35pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Work
Today, my boss - whose intelligence level hovers a hair above "Herpity derpity derp" - got up my ass and accused me of lying to him. All because I said that just because I'm a network admin, I can't make his 7 year old piece of crap Blackberry magically be able to use 4G networks. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 2:44pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I forgot my phone on the roof of my car. I took a 30 minute drive from my friend's city to my city. I got on to my driveway, surprised to see my phone still there. Thinking I'm really lucky, I pick up my phone. Then, I trip over a pebble, cracking my phone in the process. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 7:20am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife, the budding environmentalist, who is also 6 months pregnant, threatened to leave me because according to her I'm responsible for the world's deforestation. I'd only drawn her a picture of her with our baby-to-be. FML
by Ecolo-girl / 03/11/2016 at 1:22am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love
Today, I had knee surgery. I have to wear these lovely compression stockings, and going to the bathroom is really hard since I can't bend my knee at all. I ended up getting pee all over the stockings, but I can't take them off. FML
by jennaaa01 / 03/09/2016 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Health
by billjoebob424 / 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm / Canada / Love
Today, I received a full tuition scholarship to my ideal university in the mail. This would be perfect, except I sent an email to the college 2 days earlier, informing them that I couldn't attend because of financial concerns. FML
by AllyK_shawol / 03/09/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (Georgia) / Money
by StolenCarz / 03/09/2016 at 7:30am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
by idontlikebitter / 03/08/2016 at 4:10pm / Switzerland (Aargau) / Miscellaneous
Today, an attractive woman sat beside me at the doctor's office. Unfortunately, on my other side was my senile old uncle who can't control his bowels, and after a few uncontrollable farts, she was on the other side of the room. FML
by thanksgrandpa / 03/08/2016 at 3:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Xandriajoy10 / 03/08/2016 at 6:56am / Australia / Animals
by Juju Bear / 03/08/2016 at 6:54am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/07/2016 at 2:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by AwkCockBlock / 03/06/2016 at 7:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…