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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
by Lara / 01/08/2016 at 6:28am / Germany (Bremen) / Health
by christinaannxo / 01/08/2016 at 3:06am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was chilling in my comfy zip-up sweatshirt when I realized I was running late for an acting class. In my mad panic, I forgot I didn't have a shirt or bra underneath. Later in class, I was performing a scene and started to unzip my sweatshirt. You can figure out the rest. FML
by AccidentalFlasher / 01/07/2016 at 9:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by its dark / 01/07/2016 at 6:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by potatoking24 / 01/07/2016 at 10:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy
by Anonycock / 01/06/2016 at 12:15pm / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/06/2016 at 10:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 6:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
by NAT / 01/03/2016 at 11:15am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
Today, I was talking to myself in the bathroom to remind myself of what chores I need to do. My husband overheard me and is now convinced that I was on the phone with someone. No amount of proof, logic or reasoning can convince him that I'm not cheating on him. FML
by ardea_alba / 01/01/2016 at 3:27pm / Russian Federation (Sverdlovsk) / Love
Today, my father told me he hasn't brushed his teeth for 30 years: he just wipes them with paper towels. I don't know whether to be horribly disgusted, or horribly jealous that he has never gotten a cavity. FML
by Mewsmash / 01/01/2016 at 11:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Animals
Today, a guy came to install a modem in my apartment. He needed to get to the jack behind my TV stand, so I helped him move it. Once the stand was moved, I saw a used condom that was hidden underneath. My cat must have pulled it out of my garbage weeks ago. There's no way the guy didn't see it. FML
by wardsl195 / 12/30/2015 at 12:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy