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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
Today, I was talking to a customer, when I choked on my spit. After I could breathe again I was so embarrassed I said the first thing that popped into my head, which was, "I'm sorry, I don't know how to swallow." FML
by sweet / 07/27/2016 at 10:50pm / Transportation
Today, I finally got together with this great guy I've had a crush on for a while. He told me before that he is quite inexperienced, which usually doesn't bother me at all. Turns out "inexperienced" translates to "I will include your nose and chin in our kissing" in this case. FML
by Kiss-a-thon / 07/27/2016 at 6:01am / Germany / Love
by BodyElectric / 07/26/2016 at 1:06am / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/25/2016 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Geek
Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML
by StateOfEuphoria / 07/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health
by i fuckin love habaneros / 07/22/2016 at 3:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/22/2016 at 12:14am / United States (Montana) / Transportation
Today, I spiced things up by lying on the bed and pouring melted white chocolate on myself. I called out to my fiancé to come in. He was 'checking' his favourite scene in Batman vs Superman and couldn't hear me. I was stuck unable to move for ten minutes until he finally heard me. FML
by Chocolaty / 07/21/2016 at 8:48pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML
by gamerlaura / 07/21/2016 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Gwynedd) / Health
by ENDmySUFFERING / 07/21/2016 at 11:25am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Kids
Today, my iguana tried to eat my hand. Taking that as a sign of being hungry, I gave him a bowl of fruits and veggies. After he finished the bowl, he tried to eat my hand again. My iguana's an asshole. FML
by Mj / 07/19/2016 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by aurora320 / 07/19/2016 at 3:50pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Love
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…