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gummybears99's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
gummybears99's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick up a few things from the store for him while he was at work. After picking up everything he asked for, I wasn't left with much money so I used $50 from my account. When he got home he then grumbled about me spending all of "his" money. FML
by dessy / 05/09/2016 at 5:37pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I visited a waterpark with friends. At one point, a woman floating near me suddenly says to me, "How are you doing, honey?" Instinctively, I replied, "I'm well". The woman gave me a strange look and I turned around to find she was talking to her child directly behind me. FML
by Sloppy Cashmere / 05/09/2016 at 5:26pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 5 year-old daughter saw me getting ready to sit down in a fold-out camp chair, and told me, with a big smile on her face, "Daddy, you're too fat to sit in that chair. You'll break it with your big butt." Out of the mouths of babes, I guess. FML
by antwhite1987 / 05/08/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/08/2016 at 6:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/08/2016 at 4:42am / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/06/2016 at 9:40pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by sakurabloom / 05/04/2016 at 4:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I got my graded essay from my teacher. Earlier, he'd said that it was "too specific", and that I should change it to be "more general and debatable". Now that I've got it back, the first comments on the paper are, "Your thesis is too general, be more specific." FML
by Super Confused / 05/02/2016 at 7:59pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I want on a date with a man I met on the internet. While talking over drinks, I asked him what he did for a living. He said he was a salesman, and that he's really good at it. Interested, I asked him what it was he sold. "Cannabis." FML
by socksxox / 05/02/2016 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, we were doing research on contraceptives in class. Afterwards, the girl next to me starts explaining how "cringey" and "grossed out" she gets when she sees/hears "the words for the private parts." She then tells me all about her getting her period that morning in explicit detail. FML
by howdoesthatmakesense / 05/02/2016 at 4:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Pupluv183 / 05/02/2016 at 12:43pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML
by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy
by Fox_Undercover / 04/30/2016 at 4:33pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by ShouldICallYouDaddy / 04/30/2016 at 7:49am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy