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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids
by 43_clothespins_later / 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
by you+me-clothes=53>< / 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm / Austria (Wien) / Intimacy
by kcountry92 / 11/17/2013 at 10:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by :( / 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by LizGo / 11/17/2013 at 1:00am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML
by raz_berri93 / 11/17/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm / Miscellaneous
by Colby / 11/15/2013 at 11:59am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/15/2013 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
by Eggs / 11/15/2013 at 12:00am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy