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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
by ChiefKoala / 01/22/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 9:21pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
Today, two teen girls got into a shouting match at the table next to mine at the food court. Sensing a fight brewing, I got up to leave. I stood up just in time for one of the girls to throw her tray, which missed her target and hit me in the head. FML
by LiLMAMA0523 / 01/21/2016 at 9:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was taking a shower, my boyfriend came into the bathroom to ask me a question. When I got out of the shower, I was greeted with a horrifying cutout of Michael Jackson. I fell backwards, shattering the glass shower door. I needed stitches. FML
by Shy_Shiloh / 01/21/2016 at 3:58am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
by lambeaster / 01/20/2016 at 9:27am / United States (District of Columbia) / Kids
by xsnqw / 01/19/2016 at 5:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/19/2016 at 6:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while entering in my college building, I noticed that my right shoelace was untied and I tied it. I didn't realize that just in front of me was a metal beam until I hit my head hard on it and a loud, reverberating sound was produced. Many people saw what happened. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 9:24am / Philippines (Benguet) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 1:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML
by Gamergirl137 / 01/15/2016 at 9:28pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML
by mouse_13 / 01/15/2016 at 1:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
by ShouldveStayedAVirgin / 01/13/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Mellamononeyobiz / 01/12/2016 at 9:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/12/2016 at 1:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous