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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML
by Funyearahead / 08/08/2016 at 8:44am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Weightlosshereicome / 08/08/2016 at 6:06am / United States (New York) / Health
Today I went to my sleep therapist; I sleep 8 hours a night, but I'm still very tired during the day. I'm divorced, so we decided that I would record myself sleeping to see if I might be snoring. We listened to the tape. Not only was I snoring very loudly, I cry all night in my sleep. FM
by Sleeping moody / 08/08/2016 at 12:01am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by . / 08/05/2016 at 12:57pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy
by an unlucky man / 08/05/2016 at 5:37am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my boss ordered me to read the Twilight series in order to determine if they are "appropriate" for his daughter to read. I'm a 25-year-old bank teller, and I definitely don't remember this in my job description. FML
by that violates the Geneva conventions / 08/05/2016 at 5:33am / United States (California) / Work
by sw2f2fchik612 / 08/03/2016 at 10:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son was waiting in the car for me after driving around to build up hours for his permit. He then decided it was a good idea to quickly drive over to catch a Pokemon nearby. He didn't count on getting pulled over for texting and driving while underage without an adult though. FML
by ButItWasRareDad! / 08/03/2016 at 6:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by nullpointer / 08/03/2016 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML
by TheVagabond_SRG / 08/02/2016 at 2:46am / United States (Texas) / Work
by :( / 07/31/2016 at 12:18am / United States / Love