Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

gummybears99

Offline (yesterday at 4:40am) | Search for a member

gummybears99

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11673
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

gummybears99's page activity

Visits<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 2:18am<b>rnarshmallow</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:37am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:25am<b>capper44</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:51am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:46pm<b>SWC_Penguin</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 8:18pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:29am

gummybears99's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of gummybears99's badges

gummybears99's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed a man die from a heart attack. When I told my dad later, he said "Lose some weight or you'll be next." FML

#21477787
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (5089)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Annienomous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML

#21477704
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (1523)

On 10/08/2015 at 10:06pm - misc - by Traveler (man) -

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

#21477505
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (2652)

On 10/08/2015 at 11:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML

#21477463
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25114) - you deserved it (1763)

On 10/08/2015 at 7:53am - animals - by Bad Mother (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my roommate confided in me that she hadn't been taking showers while at school because she was afraid of being in the shower when the fire alarm goes off. She goes home once every month, and will only shower there. I have to live with her for the rest of the year. FML

#21477257
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (1568)

On 10/07/2015 at 6:07pm - misc - by Utterly_Confused (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML

#21476896
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23289) - you deserved it (2989)

On 10/06/2015 at 5:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my niece to the zoo. She was crying so I pointed out the chimpanzee to distract her. At the same time, he sat down and began to jack off. My niece won't stop making the same motion. FML

#21476872
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23240) - you deserved it (2094)

On 10/06/2015 at 4:42pm - kids - by elcee1987 - United States (California)

Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML

#21476743
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23151) - you deserved it (1517)

On 10/06/2015 at 7:13am - health - by Lord Kane of Flatulon (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my annual checkup, the doc looks down at my foot and says, "Oh, you have an extra toenail. 6, huh?" Then sort of scraping at the side of my foot below the pinky toe, he pulls off a long piece of dead, dried skin and says, "Oh." FML

#21476672
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (5985)

On 10/06/2015 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dentist and his hygienist were flirting while they worked on my mouth. I didn't really mind, however I definitely minded when the hygienist pierced my gum with her tool because she was laughing at one of his jokes. FML

#21476504
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24319) - you deserved it (1320)

On 10/05/2015 at 5:02pm - health - by urbantrashcan (woman) - United States

Today, several coworkers think the operation scar on my wrist is really a failed suicide attempt, because I study design and apparently, "Artists are suicidal, right?" FML

Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML

#21476154
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24585) - you deserved it (1813)

On 10/04/2015 at 7:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML

#21475965
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24081) - you deserved it (2074)

On 10/04/2015 at 9:21am - misc - by dead man walking? (man) - United States

Today, I woke up in the elevator of my apartment building in the middle of the night, without my keys, phone, or shoes. Turns out I have been sleepwalking. FML

Today, we had a school reunion. The guy who bullied me throughout my high school career is now rich and married. I'm broke and single, and he specifically came up to me to point it out. FML

#21475747
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26117) - you deserved it (2022)

On 10/03/2015 at 4:45pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: