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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
by Seeyounarabish / 07/10/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I reassured a close friend that he could tell me anything. Now all our conversations are almost exclusively about his kinks. Did you know a well-stretched human anus can hold an entire bag of jumbo marshmallows? FML
by faily_tales / 07/10/2016 at 8:37pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was driving with my little brother when out of nowhere he yelled at me to stop. Thinking it was urgent, I slammed my breaks, almost getting rammed from behind. Why did he yell for me to stop? The Pokémon GO said there was a sparrow near us. FML
by PurplePanda_1927 / 07/07/2016 at 10:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by LadyGoombah / 07/06/2016 at 9:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, it's the second day of being in Estonia with my boyfriend and his mom, visiting their family. I don't know much Estonian, but I can say short words and phrases. My boyfriend later informed me I've been mispronouncing "Thank you," and actually saying "Help me." I was wondering why people have been laughing. FML
by avenue24 / 07/06/2016 at 5:08pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I cringed at a memory of 5-year-old me going to restaurants I was brought to and stealing tip money because I thought it was free. I got to watch a kid do the same thing to me. Oh, sweet karma. FML
by ThisChick / 07/06/2016 at 1:59pm / United States (Louisiana) / Money
by Poordaughter5 / 07/06/2016 at 1:21pm / Germany / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hanging out with a friend at an ice cream place, and a guy started chatting with us. As he eventually went to leave, he told me "That's a nice looking date you got there." Then he turned to my friend. "Wish I could say the same to you." FML
by rmonk / 07/06/2016 at 8:17am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Lifetime Presents: / 07/06/2016 at 7:50am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Jioune / 07/05/2016 at 5:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
Today, I woke up to my husband chuckling. When I asked him what was so funny. He told me that during the night I attempted to shove one of the kids' pacifiers in his mouth. I don't remember this, at all. He thinks it's hysterical. I'm not sure what to think. FML
by Binkplugged / 07/05/2016 at 2:01pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
by ZeldaovaPeach / 07/05/2016 at 8:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML
by Finn / 07/05/2016 at 2:49am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…