gummybears99

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gummybears99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12683
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gummybears99's page activity

Visits<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 2:18am<b>rnarshmallow</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:37am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:25am<b>capper44</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:51am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:46pm<b>SWC_Penguin</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 8:18pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:29am

gummybears99's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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gummybears99's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML

by moosemay / 02/06/2016 at 6:42am / Germany (Bayern) / Animals

Today, my dogs somehow pulled the water spigot off the wall in my backyard. I now have my own private lake. FML

by Hreid254 / 02/05/2016 at 11:07am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 7:37am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2016 at 5:19pm / Intimacy

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

by Lord_Nick / 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2016 at 10:06am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my mailman refused to deliver my mail for an undetermined amount of time, because my 8 year-old, arthritic dog, who can barely walk, "made him feel threatened." FML

by cassie0216 / 02/01/2016 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I've been calling my pet snake "Mr. Snake" for two years now. I decided to look up the name, and boy do I regret it. It turns out Mr. Snake is a porn site. I've named my snake after porn and have been introducing him to family with that name for two years. FML

by GeeLoftus / 01/31/2016 at 2:32pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, my dad decided I was too hairy and taught me to shave. This would be a great bonding experience if I weren't a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2016 at 4:54pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML

by Why / 01/29/2016 at 5:53pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm doing an architecture course in China. My boss asked me to create a lamp shaped like a shrimp. FML

by Anonyme / 01/29/2016 at 5:38pm / China (Shanghai) / Work

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2016 at 11:26am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals