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gummybears99

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gummybears99

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  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4604
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gummybears99's page activity

Visits<b>Austrand22</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 10:07pm<b>capper44</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:51am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:46pm<b>SWC_Penguin</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 8:18pm

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gummybears99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over and fined $100 for driving without a license, as I'd accidentally left home without my wallet. I later found my wallet wedged beside my car seat, where it had been the entire time. FML

#21288966
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31493) - you deserved it (5950)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:35am - money - by emptypockets - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31255) - you deserved it (2608)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML

#21288915
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25850) - you deserved it (2120)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:42am - misc - by Shutup! - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26341) - you deserved it (21780)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31523) - you deserved it (3136)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39641) - you deserved it (3015)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

#21287570
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37882) - you deserved it (3618)

On 10/29/2014 at 9:09am - kids - by NoColor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

#21287500
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34326) - you deserved it (6628)

On 10/29/2014 at 4:19am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

#21287428
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31387) - you deserved it (7797)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

#21287196
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31065) - you deserved it (3308)

On 10/28/2014 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML

#21287079
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32297) - you deserved it (6101)

On 10/28/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by BurnedDown (woman) - United Kingdom (East Riding of Yorkshire)

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

#21286814
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31446) - you deserved it (4966)

On 10/28/2014 at 3:40am - animals - by thewrittenrebel - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (32159)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

#21286665
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28710) - you deserved it (5032)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:00pm - health - by Discipl (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27681) - you deserved it (11581)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)



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