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gummybears99

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gummybears99

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  • Title : Miss
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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5568
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gummybears99's page activity

Visits<b>Austrand22</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 10:07pm<b>capper44</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:51am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:46pm<b>SWC_Penguin</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 8:18pm

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gummybears99's favorite FMLs

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29595) - you deserved it (4211)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32113) - you deserved it (3388)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27328) - you deserved it (2256)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

#21340194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (6300)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend when I began dozing off. I was then awoken by an explosive fart. It was me. FML

#21340117
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28790) - you deserved it (4805)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mother told me how long it took for her to have me. Not how long she carried me in her womb - how long it took her and my dad to have sex. FML

#21339798
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27074) - you deserved it (2197)

On 01/18/2015 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was accused of letting my dog take a shit on the sidewalk and not picking it up. My dog's a chihuahua, and the turd was almost longer than he is. I got fined anyway. FML

#21339093
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (4791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2015 at 4:12pm - animals - by Titatoum - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML

#21338935
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28081) - you deserved it (5708)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm - love - by wounded pride, intact cock (man) - United States

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31487) - you deserved it (4497)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

#21338477
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20734) - you deserved it (12163)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

#21338417
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (5583)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML

#21338246
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25983) - you deserved it (8568)

On 01/16/2015 at 12:09pm - misc - by phones - United States

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23420) - you deserved it (15011)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

#21336365
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34349) - you deserved it (2845)

On 01/13/2015 at 11:25am - love - by can't win - Australia

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML



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