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gummybears99

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gummybears99

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8327
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gummybears99's page activity

Visits<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:25am<b>capper44</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:51am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:46pm<b>SWC_Penguin</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 8:18pm

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gummybears99's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31284) - you deserved it (2353)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

#21410586
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (10373)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by hedayk - United States (New York)

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32122) - you deserved it (7044)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

#21409816
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23588) - you deserved it (5792)

On 05/14/2015 at 12:26am - kids - by ptarr12345 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

Today, I stuck my hand out the car window and noticed my arm fat flapping in the wind. FML

#21409639
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (9076)

On 05/13/2015 at 7:19pm - health - by windthroughmyflab - United States

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30350) - you deserved it (2672)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I managed to throw my back out by blowing my nose. FML

#21409404
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (2617)

On 05/13/2015 at 9:57am - health - by Hlaalette (woman) - Belgium

Today, my mother yelled at me, telling me I'm irresponsible and lecturing me on how I need to "plan ahead like an adult." All because I asked to borrow a tampon. FML

#21408920
132 comments

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

#21408859
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28891) - you deserved it (3831)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Darryl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

#21408368
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (8686)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29316) - you deserved it (4292)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML

#21407053
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27411) - you deserved it (1797)

On 05/09/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by sarahmaxine - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

#21406781
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27322) - you deserved it (3713)

On 05/08/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by McWhopper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23995) - you deserved it (6742)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)



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