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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/23/2016 at 11:58am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at orientation for my new job. There were only 6 other people in the training. Throughout the whole entire training, I kept smelling cat urine and moving further away from the other person. Only to get in my car and realize my cat peed in my purse. FML
Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML
by _kristaaxo / 11/21/2016 at 4:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by in love with an idiot / 11/20/2016 at 6:47am / Angola (Luanda) / Love
by tiredstudent / 11/18/2016 at 8:56am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation
by Bonngoo / 11/17/2016 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my class and I were discussing our country's relationship with other countries. One person stated that the French have never done anything for us. A classmate took that moment to chime in and ask, "I thought the French gave us that giant statue of the Mona Lisa?" He was dead serious. FML
by crazymentalblond / 11/17/2016 at 6:47am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, whilst taking a shower, I noticed my razor wasn't in its usual spot. Upon inspecting it closer, I noticed that there were tiny white hairs in it. When confronting my father about it, he claimed the "pink razors" are his. We've been sharing the same razor this entire time. FML
by pinkrazorsare4men / 11/15/2016 at 7:51pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my long-distance friend about the flooding in Florida due to the Supermoon. He's a Flat Earther and despite proof, denies the coincidence because he believes the moon and gravity aren't what we're taught. FML
by Enslaved / 11/15/2016 at 3:40am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making out with a guy in his car, when we decided we needed a minute of fresh air. We stepped out, only to completely lock ourselves out, with our phones and the keys inside. We had to smash a window. FML
by Silverfeathery / 11/14/2016 at 6:19am / United States (Maine) / Love
Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML
by kill the audience / 11/10/2016 at 12:51pm / United States (Delaware) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…