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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML
by LongDriveNoSleep / 05/24/2016 at 6:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my 9-year-old sister to an ice cream shop. There we met a boy about her age, who started a conversation with her, told her she was pretty and they ended up exchanging numbers. I'm 24 and so far I've never succeeded at getting a girl's number like this. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2016 at 6:30am / Ukraine / Love
Today, the checkout guy at my local store asked me if I had my hair cut. I answered and started talking about my hair, and he gave me a really weird look. He was talking to his friend, who I hadn't noticed in the queue behind me. FML
by figcurzyez / 05/23/2016 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in class, my friend would not stop annoying me by tapping me on the shoulder every so often. After the fifth time, I lost my patience, told him to F off, and slapped his hand. Only it wasn't my friend tapping my shoulder this time, it was my teacher. FML
by gettinganF / 05/23/2016 at 7:57am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my two year old has learned new things from his best friend. His best friend is our dog. He's learned to eat dog food, lick people, and now he's started taking off his diaper to lift his leg and pee. FML
by proud parent / 05/21/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by ShandiPandiDerp / 05/20/2016 at 8:12am / United States / Miscellaneous
by bruised / 05/19/2016 at 4:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/18/2016 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Animals
by ShouldIHelpIt / 05/17/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I was performing in a play. One of my co-actors elbowed me right as I was taking a swig of my drink, causing me to fling cold tea into my face and all over the table. If that wasn't majestic enough, I had to keep acting in several more scenes with a wet tea stain in my crotch area. FML
by Grammer_Nazzi / 05/17/2016 at 9:11pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a concert and I was having so much fun. Unfortunately, this was cut short when the person behind me with the worst halitosis started singing along to the songs. He knew ALL the lyrics. FML
by shtzbutnogiggles / 05/17/2016 at 10:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by LucyLollipop / 05/16/2016 at 3:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
by ER1C / 05/16/2016 at 8:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals