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gummybears99

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gummybears99

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3614
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gummybears99's page activity

Visits<b>Austrand22</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 10:07pm<b>capper44</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 2:51am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:46pm<b>SWC_Penguin</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 8:18pm

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gummybears99's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML

Today, while doing physical therapy exercises for my broken leg, I managed to throw my back out. Now I can neither walk nor sit up. FML

#21281586
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (1745)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:00am - health - by cray12 - United States

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22593) - you deserved it (2849)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22379) - you deserved it (3488)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21540) - you deserved it (5480)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27748) - you deserved it (3499)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML

#21280817
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27032) - you deserved it (4728)

On 10/19/2014 at 12:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

#21280767
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29278) - you deserved it (2214)

On 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by problems - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29027) - you deserved it (2943)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML

#21280619
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (9464)

On 10/18/2014 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28325) - you deserved it (2838)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33254) - you deserved it (2379)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28673) - you deserved it (5887)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

#21280293
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31826) - you deserved it (2009)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:20am - misc - by Queensland - Australia

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML



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