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gummybears99's favorite FMLs
Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both whispered, "Sorry." Our teacher promptly gave us detention and a 0% on the test for talking. Sorry for being sorry? FML
by Sorry? / 12/01/2016 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by CheeseLover / 12/01/2016 at 7:44pm / United States (Texas) / Geek
Today, my 4-month-old puppy made a break for it as soon as I opened the front door. I had to run after her barefoot, in just my dressing gown. It was raining. I fell over, forgot to break my fall and skidded along the unsurfaced road. She came back on her own while I was was laid on the floor. FML
by ouch / 12/01/2016 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (North Yorkshire) / Animals
by crash and burn / 12/01/2016 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Money
Today, I discovered that when my doctor said my new medication "may cause sensitivity to sunlight" what he meant was "sit in total darkness during the day or your skin will feel like its burning off." FML
Today, the girl I've liked for over a year, broke up with me after just 2 weeks of dating, all because I'm a better pianist then her. I've been playing since I was 8. She's been playing for 6 months. FML
by betterpianist / 11/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States / Love
Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML
by Babysitter Probs / 11/27/2016 at 12:58am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML
by SupermarketSally / 11/25/2016 at 8:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by Wanaaa / 11/25/2016 at 2:08am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
by CloroxDoggo / 11/23/2016 at 7:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my… Today, I got it on for the first time with a guy I've been dating. He had to turn the TV up loud so… Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he…