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guitarherogeek

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guitarherogeek

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  • Number of visits : 427
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About guitarherogeek : Just here for the fml's of course
Cheer me up on any kind of day!

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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guitarherogeek's favorite FMLs

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41455) - you deserved it (5097)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

#21265697
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30821) - you deserved it (5759)

On 09/26/2014 at 9:03am - work - by dicksonthebrain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." FML

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41928) - you deserved it (11674)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

#21255032
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34452) - you deserved it (3319)

On 09/09/2014 at 12:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML

#21253597
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36275) - you deserved it (3824)

On 09/07/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by goodmorning - United States (Indiana)

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23335) - you deserved it (45114)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48612) - you deserved it (4421)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65187) - you deserved it (32619)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

#21083945
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44522) - you deserved it (6093)

On 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by littlefinger (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

#21075644
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47174) - you deserved it (6678)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42648) - you deserved it (10973)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

#21036028
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48721) - you deserved it (3843)

On 01/22/2014 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after much debate I let my mom wax my eyebrows. Now I get to look super surprised until they grow back. FML

#21024170
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37387) - you deserved it (9287)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:49am - misc - by madib33 (woman) - United States



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