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guineagirl

Offline (the 06/12/2015 at 6:58am) | Search for a member

guineagirl

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12332
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About guineagirl : note to self my mother is the bringer of death

guineagirl's page activity

Visits<b>bandeek</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 12:43am<b>nana_star</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 6:01am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 9:29pm<b>Karennnx</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 7:20pm<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 11:41am<b>Raath00</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:01am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:58pm<b>1Nsan3</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:59am<b>nunes36</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 5:42pm<b>PyroSam</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:46pm<b>gingerrrrrr</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 8:21pm<b>qwerty401</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:08pm<b>Memma</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:16pm<b>konstantinos616</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 5:45pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:02pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:50pm<b>fallencastiel</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:21pm

Fucked!<b>bandeek</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:43am<b>Raath00</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:16am

guineagirl's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of guineagirl's badges

guineagirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29854) - you deserved it (4990)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28360) - you deserved it (5698)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9415) - you deserved it (52816)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (6673)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34591) - you deserved it (2556)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31929) - you deserved it (3943)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35161) - you deserved it (2765)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

#20499511
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (2069)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh (woman) - Kenya

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

#20498655
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29450) - you deserved it (2496)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

#20498051
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31126) - you deserved it (2440)

On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML

Today, while my mother-in-law visited, I asked if she wouldn't mind watching my son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shaved his head completely bald. That was his very first haircut. FML

#20494705
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36051) - you deserved it (2984)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm - kids - by missedout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

#20493569
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32337) - you deserved it (6976)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33183) - you deserved it (4027)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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