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guineagirl

Offline (the 04/27/2014 at 7:30pm) | Search for a member

guineagirl

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1453
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About guineagirl : note to self my mother is the bringer of death

guineagirl's page activity

Visits<b>miketopgunmike1</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:14pm<b>loathingloser</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:54am<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:20pm<b>cyzn</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:10am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:43pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:45am<b>masyn_rae</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:54am<b>JensenAckles</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm<b>lulumoongirl</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:16am<b>hehfbdjc</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:50pm<b>hellnosucka</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 4:24am<b>crowsemen</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:51am<b>omnia</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:17pm<b>jordyn_marie</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:58am<b>fooomanchiu</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:59am<b>cariboucrow</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 7:50am<b>Donkness</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 7:33am<b>RecklessLove</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:52am

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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guineagirl's favorite FMLs

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

#6351761
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27373) - you deserved it (3405)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:50am - animals - by Slivered - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML

#6340257
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11379) - you deserved it (33734)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML

#6325781
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8735) - you deserved it (35305)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by baddaughter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

#6312781
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10880) - you deserved it (19893)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by loldick (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told me that every time he has sex with me he thinks about some mutant bunny chick from "Final Fantasy." FML

#6268793
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19560) - you deserved it (3481)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I realized that if you are too lazy to get completely dressed in the morning and only put on a top, you should not answer a Skype video call from your boss that involves you standing up, turning around and grabbing files from your filing cabinet all in clear view of your web cam. FML

#6264237
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7041) - you deserved it (36615)

On 11/11/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by julie (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

#6221644
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25577) - you deserved it (2777)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm - kids - by itsjustmyluck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

#6186656
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24342) - you deserved it (4795)

On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

#6178277
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38761) - you deserved it (7555)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by obese_chicken (woman) - Australia

Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML

#6160580
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5722) - you deserved it (27097)

On 11/04/2009 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Metime (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

#6129909
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5959) - you deserved it (17878)

On 11/03/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by HadToApologize (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

#6069368
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (18711)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by man (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

#6065888
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32738) - you deserved it (1739)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by seriousdubsteplover (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

#6020762
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30379) - you deserved it (4847)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:20am - love - by kahemae44 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML

#6017805
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8421) - you deserved it (25617)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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