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guineagirl

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guineagirl

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5224
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About guineagirl : note to self my mother is the bringer of death

guineagirl's page activity

Visits<b>1Nsan3</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:59am<b>nunes36</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 5:42pm<b>PyroSam</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:46pm<b>gingerrrrrr</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 8:21pm<b>Raath00</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:16pm<b>qwerty401</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:08pm<b>Memma</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:16pm<b>konstantinos616</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 5:45pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:02pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:50pm<b>fallencastiel</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:21pm<b>dudecall</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:52pm<b>CobraLazerFace</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:52pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:44pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 10:15pm<b>miketopgunmike1</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:14pm<b>loathingloser</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:54am<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:20pm

Liked!<b>Raath00</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:16am

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guineagirl's favorite FMLs

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26991) - you deserved it (5943)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10196) - you deserved it (34589)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16998) - you deserved it (28519)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

#20428799
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (45146) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

#20427495
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46598) - you deserved it (9656)

On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82044) - you deserved it (25234)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49057) - you deserved it (10241)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15154) - you deserved it (35041)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

#20416717
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36195) - you deserved it (5635)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48746) - you deserved it (6172)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32595) - you deserved it (9115)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38915) - you deserved it (14080)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

#20405217
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30594) - you deserved it (5066)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

#20403223
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11390) - you deserved it (23440)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28185) - you deserved it (3499)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)



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