guineagirl

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Offline (the 06/25/2016 at 8:23pm)

guineagirl

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20733
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About guineagirl : note to self my mother is the bringer of death

guineagirl's page activity

Visits<b>yanalynch</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 10:13pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 12:02am<b>biggredd75</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:32pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 6:10pm<b>creepy_girl</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 7:58pm<b>ASuperWhoLockian</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 8:04pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:25pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 2:29pm<b>losersanonymous</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 12:05am<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 11:14pm<b>NYGiants1925</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 5:09am<b>Babygirl117</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:12pm<b>Soparot</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:52pm<b>LWSilverMoon</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 6:00pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 4:07pm<b>brenton490</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 3:40pm<b>sanchogrim</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 1:54pm

Fucked!<b>creepy_girl</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:58am<b>bandeek</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:43am<b>Raath00</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:16am

guineagirl's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of guineagirl's badges

guineagirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

by Bahhumbug / 12/22/2014 at 9:24am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

by ScottyB / 12/22/2014 at 3:05am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, immediately after being informed of the sketchy activities that take place in our store parking lot after dark, I'm handed an orange vest and told to go out there to retrieve carts. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2014 at 2:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, since it's company policy, I had to go to the back of my small store to retrieve an item for a customer, even though I was working by myself. I came back to find that since she couldn't get into the cash register, she found and stole my purse instead. FML

by Retailhell / 12/22/2014 at 1:25am / United States / Work

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

by anonix / 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm / Canada / Work

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

by gunnerette / 12/21/2014 at 3:30am / Cyprus (Larnaca) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 9:41am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

by qyx3lmnop24 / 12/20/2014 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Love

Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML

by giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock / 12/19/2014 at 6:14pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, the lady whose son I babysit sent me a text, saying she left a gift for me for all the hard work I've done. I found a beautifully-wrapped box where she said the gift was. It turned out my actual gift was cookies sitting right next to it. FML

by 1dvos_grl3 / 12/19/2014 at 7:53am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

by peteto818 / 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm / Bulgaria (Pernik) / Love

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm / United States / Health

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) / 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous