guineagirl

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Offline (the 03/01/2016 at 5:26am)

guineagirl

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 18392
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About guineagirl : note to self my mother is the bringer of death

guineagirl's page activity

Visits<b>biggredd75</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:32pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 6:10pm<b>creepy_girl</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 7:58pm<b>ASuperWhoLockian</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 8:04pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:25pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 2:29pm<b>losersanonymous</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 12:05am<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 11:14pm<b>NYGiants1925</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 5:09am<b>Babygirl117</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:12pm<b>Soparot</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:52pm<b>LWSilverMoon</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 6:00pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 4:07pm<b>brenton490</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 3:40pm<b>sanchogrim</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 1:54pm<b>shain1988</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:51pm<b>Ajax_Teh_Great</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 8:24pm

Fucked!<b>creepy_girl</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:58am<b>bandeek</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:43am<b>Raath00</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:16am

guineagirl's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of guineagirl's badges

guineagirl's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat regurgitated his food right on top of a heating vent located on my floor. Now the whole house smells like hot vomit. FML

by Jack W. / 12/09/2015 at 2:26pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was talking to my boss at the end of an awesome internship. He said he was really satisfied with my work, and that he had considered hiring me. Turns out he decided not to because I smile too much and it unnerves him. FML

by Greenskies / 12/09/2015 at 10:26am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

by Hormones apparently / 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to my mentally unhinged roommate jacking off to a frozen TV frame of Peggy Hill from King of the Hill. When he saw me, he threw an ash tray at me and told me to get out. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2015 at 8:07am / Intimacy

Today, I staged an intervention for my dad, because his midlife crisis has spun out of control. When I told him he's now basically endangering his own life, he replied "Everyone's gonna die someday. Some sooner than others, eh porky?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2015 at 1:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML

by anon / 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm / United States / Kids

Today, through a mutual friend I met with a girl from Netherlands for dinner. At some point, she told me I have an Antillean accent, referring to the Dutch Antilles. I was born and raised nowhere near those islands, but my former boyfriend of 5 years is Antillean. Now I have his accent. FML

by notfromanisland / 12/04/2015 at 12:41am / Miscellaneous

Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML

by ygma / 12/01/2015 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML

by honk honk, fuckwad / 11/06/2015 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

by bubblewrap / 10/20/2015 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2015 at 6:15am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML

by anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 11:43pm / United States / Health

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

by cakestar9 / 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm / Ireland (Clare) / Love