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guineagirl

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guineagirl

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10480
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About guineagirl : note to self my mother is the bringer of death

guineagirl's page activity

Visits<b>Liamj774</b> - yesterday at 9:29pm<b>Karennnx</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 7:20pm<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 11:41am<b>Raath00</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:01am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:58pm<b>1Nsan3</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:59am<b>nunes36</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 5:42pm<b>PyroSam</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:46pm<b>gingerrrrrr</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 8:21pm<b>qwerty401</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:08pm<b>Memma</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:16pm<b>konstantinos616</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 5:45pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:02pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:50pm<b>fallencastiel</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:21pm<b>dudecall</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:52pm<b>CobraLazerFace</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:52pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:44pm

Liked!<b>Raath00</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:16am

guineagirl's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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guineagirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39799) - you deserved it (2551)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29963) - you deserved it (5726)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (2846)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

#21318499
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29854) - you deserved it (2126)

On 12/16/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by shit_fer_luck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, my classmate said I looked better without makeup. Well, her exact words were, "You look like less of a whore without makeup." FML

Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML

#21317874
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33047) - you deserved it (2930)

On 12/15/2014 at 11:07am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

#21317613
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31050) - you deserved it (5238)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm - love - by lonesome - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML

#21317606
134 comments

Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

#21317384
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32203) - you deserved it (5682)

On 12/14/2014 at 3:28pm - animals - by I'm Trading Up For A Dog (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

#21317298
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37057) - you deserved it (3756)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was informed that my uneven facial features make me seem "untrustworthy." Glad to know my unchangeable physical appearance doubles as a character flaw. FML

#21317152
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29674) - you deserved it (2229)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:56am - misc - by lopsided (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents decided to finally kick me out of the house because they've gotten tired of seeing me "sleep around all day and being so lazy" whenever I'm home. I'm currently triple-shifting for 6 days a week. FML

#21317150
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (2387)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:50am - work - by wallamanut (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

#21317146
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16420) - you deserved it (25262)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)



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