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guineagirl

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guineagirl

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2357
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About guineagirl : note to self my mother is the bringer of death

guineagirl's page activity

Visits<b>Memma</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:16pm<b>konstantinos616</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 5:45pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:02pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:50pm<b>fallencastiel</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:21pm<b>dudecall</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:52pm<b>CobraLazerFace</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:52pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:44pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 10:15pm<b>miketopgunmike1</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:14pm<b>loathingloser</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:54am<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:20pm<b>cyzn</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:10am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:43pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:45am<b>masyn_rae</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:54am<b>JensenAckles</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm<b>lulumoongirl</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:16am

guineagirl's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of guineagirl's badges

guineagirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34635) - you deserved it (12927)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21245038
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37448) - you deserved it (3658)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:17pm - health - by sharkgirl4 - United States (California)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26489) - you deserved it (14673)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38988) - you deserved it (4613)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of bordom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38494) - you deserved it (7149)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML

#21244527
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32265) - you deserved it (3635)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:45pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

#21244497
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35500) - you deserved it (5272)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:03pm - work - by fucked - United States (California)

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

#21244302
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36477) - you deserved it (4968)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:40am - animals - by abusedparrot - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37621) - you deserved it (5736)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

#21244154
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37333) - you deserved it (3042)

On 08/24/2014 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47173) - you deserved it (5545)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

#21243818
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (7097)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43883) - you deserved it (4219)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (42492)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)



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