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Offline (the 11/24/2016 at 1:45am)



  • Town/Country : Vienna, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3431
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About guineagirl96 : Hi! I'm a math/CS major also minoring in music and dance. I play oboe, english horn, baroque oboe, oboe d'amore, bass oboe, soprano sax, and jazz piano. In addition, I sing and am technically a soprano, but my range is so large that I often sing tenor or alto 2. I also have three guinea pigs. But most of all, I'm the world's biggest klutz.

guineagirl96's page activity

Visits<b>josepadilla0325</b> - the 12/03/2016 at 11:46pm<b>conman317</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 10:12am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 10:04am<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 11:37am<b>why57why</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 9:32am<b>xMaeLA</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 6:52am<b>Tenker</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 12:17am<b>benjaminlamar</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 3:39pm<b>Pauschinator</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 3:26pm<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 3:01pm<b>droid1126</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 1:08pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 10:34am<b>hockey_lover98</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 9:32am<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 8:18am<b>nevaryzarc</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 5:30am<b>roman11</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 4:53am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 4:12am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 10:46pm

Fucked!<b>Pauschinator</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 9:27pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 4:35pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 6:28pm<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 10:17pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 6:10am<b>cadorette</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 9:19am<b>KingHez</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 9:18pm<b>Robby2448</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:51am<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 2:47am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 6:22am<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 11:44am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:11am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:38pm<b>TotallyTrudy</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 4:51am<b>wfacsc</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:24am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 6:30am<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:02am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:49am

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guineagirl96's favorite FMLs

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

by ihatecoldfeet / 03/29/2015 at 4:54am / United States (Montana) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

by beccadabeast / 06/30/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

by Alex / 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

by Respect101 / 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

by ktmla / 05/11/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Florida) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

by mlowy / 05/09/2014 at 1:35am / Azerbaijan (Baki) / Miscellaneous

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

by EggHead / 05/03/2014 at 12:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

by Nose bleed / 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2014 at 3:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2014 at 1:07pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

by HanBroman / 03/17/2014 at 4:05am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.