[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

guillotine

Search for a member

guillotine
  • Town/Country : Lisbon, Portugal
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 March 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 616
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About guillotine : if I told you, I'd have to kill you.

guillotine's last visitors

Freezeicantellujett_0621McMarlinsw2f2fchik612Am1lawsoncrazysicknastyRinoaHeartillyaardvarkishjetpackzach

guillotine's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

guillotine's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

#6126776 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (12048) - you deserved it (2350)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (26054) - you deserved it (9895)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML

#5927953 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (4886)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by Rayvyn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (48199) - you deserved it (8640)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (923) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

#3790297 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (29290) - you deserved it (8304)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, before a big formal banquet, I went tanning because I wanted to look good in my cocktail dress. I got out of the tanning bed only to realize that I had left my socks on. FML

#109739 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (7029) - you deserved it (39599)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:09pm - misc - by Sh.H (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (32242) - you deserved it (3977)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (62320) - you deserved it (2889)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (28652) - you deserved it (13358)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wake up, switch on TV and the first thing I see is the picture of a wanted rapist who looks just like me. I’m afraid to leave home. FML

#8 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (170585) - you deserved it (14294)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi-online -



Your account

Sign up - Password?
→ Illustrated FMLs
→ The blog
+ FML, the follow-up
↓ Categories

FML's blog

02/10/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, the book

Available NOW on:

© 2008-2012 by