gt74000

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gt74000

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 437
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gt74000's FML badges

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gt74000's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

by Dumbass / 06/20/2009 at 2:01am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him as well as my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worth $0. I said yes. He cut the wrong card. FML

by bryans_fresh / 06/12/2009 at 7:35pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

by fmlcops / 05/22/2009 at 12:17am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML

by fihifgni210 / 05/20/2009 at 12:54pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the way to an exam I saw a car accident happen. I stopped, helped the woman who was injured and waited for the paramedics. I was too late at school, the teacher didn't buy my excuse and I failed the exam. It was an examination of my first aid skills. FML

by Sam / 05/19/2009 at 5:21am / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my father's weekly unemployment check is more than my bi-weekly pay check. My full time job pays less than my father's unemployment. FML

by thatsucks / 05/17/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I was selected to give my speech to the entire school. I was later told it had to be censored because it was inappropriate, even though I was just trying to make a point. My speech was on political correctness. My speech on political correctness was censored for political reasons. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2009 at 9:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 10:45am / Norway (Troms) / Kids

Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML

by matt5th35hit / 05/09/2009 at 4:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML

by jlover42 / 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

by NoFightResponse / 04/23/2009 at 11:53pm / United States (New York) / Transportation