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gruesomehorizon

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gruesomehorizon
  • Town/Country : Hurst, Texas, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 September 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 89
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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gruesomehorizon's favorite FMLs

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (11921)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (3395)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11630) - you deserved it (51470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

#19409993
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7720) - you deserved it (34277)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32738) - you deserved it (11618)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

#17375706
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (3838)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:57am - health - by jbthedude - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

#16990029
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29120) - you deserved it (5081)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31544) - you deserved it (19667)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (39736)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

#14585624
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11123) - you deserved it (44596)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my mom that I wanted professional head-shots done for Christmas. When asked why, I said "I want to submit them to a modeling agency." My mom exchanged looks with my sister before laughing so hard that she wet herself. FML

#14019347
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (6075)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by brandiboobarry -

Today, I told my mom that I wanted professional head-shots done for Christmas. When asked why, I said "I want to submit them to a modeling agency." My mom exchanged looks with my sister before laughing so hard that she wet herself. FML

#14019347
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (6075)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by brandiboobarry -

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11049) - you deserved it (48251)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

#13070220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19150) - you deserved it (16792)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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