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grrhelpme's favorite FMLs
by UHM / 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm / United States / Love
Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML
by fuck kids / 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
by kinkicali / 11/20/2012 at 3:43am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
by shit.... / 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm / Malaysia (Selangor) / Intimacy
by BooBabe / 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML
by notawizard / 07/16/2009 at 6:16am / Spain (Catalonia) / Kids
by thunder thighs / 02/10/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
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