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groovy579

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groovy579

1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 18104
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

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groovy579's page activity

Visits<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:19pm<b>tamesenicole</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Mossygirl357</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:23am<b>ShadowlessSpear</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>OMG_ZOMBIES</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:36pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:29pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:28am<b>Blake9250</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:48am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:53pm<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 3:41pm<b>hduebdo</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 7:07pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:31pm<b>NicholausB</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:26pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 11:15am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 6:09am<b>Texasblackboots</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:46pm<b>WolfyGrace</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:36am

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:28am

groovy579's FML badges

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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groovy579's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my boss a "fucking retard" for doing something insanely stupid, only for him to find out 5 minutes later that I did exactly the same thing. I'll never hear the end of this now. FML

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (4650)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33686) - you deserved it (2957)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

#21349612
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39178) - you deserved it (3932)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that "pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

#21349360
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32324) - you deserved it (2356)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:39pm - misc - by FrustratedTutor - United States (Kansas)

Today, I saw my co-worker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML

#21349339
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32163) - you deserved it (5267)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:13pm - work - by coveredupforfun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34431) - you deserved it (2332)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

#21348376
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44682) - you deserved it (3217)

On 02/02/2015 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by itsemilyc - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (2891)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML

#21347069
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26713) - you deserved it (5119)

On 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm - intimacy - by The Soul Of A Damned Queef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

#21346989
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24218) - you deserved it (6173)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:51pm - kids - by 3722145 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29972) - you deserved it (5202)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister asked me how my boyfriend was doing. He died two years ago. She was the first person I told. FML

#21346806
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29872) - you deserved it (2201)

On 01/30/2015 at 1:11pm - misc - by lonesomegal (woman) - United States (California)



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