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groovy579

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groovy579

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  • Number of visits : 6784
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

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Visits<b>serslybro</b> - 22 hours ago<b>poopnpoop</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 9:30pm<b>hallison_13</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:34am<b>detectivedipsiht</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 7:49pm<b>Ironmayhem</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:29am<b>angeljade1234</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Blake9250</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:52pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 5:42pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 4:03am<b>moomen</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:08pm<b>fatimeshala</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 9:28am<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:13am<b>julako</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 6:51pm<b>lirideout</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:48pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:21am<b>91hayek</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:51pm<b>Nicholas12</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 4:31pm

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groovy579's favorite FMLs

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50444) - you deserved it (9715)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27229) - you deserved it (15163)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42811) - you deserved it (7383)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39870) - you deserved it (7248)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37933) - you deserved it (2831)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

#21244497
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36549) - you deserved it (5328)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:03pm - work - by fucked - United States (California)

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

#21244302
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37678) - you deserved it (5011)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:40am - animals - by abusedparrot - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39133) - you deserved it (5848)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

#21244154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38359) - you deserved it (3057)

On 08/24/2014 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49191) - you deserved it (5600)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML

#21243667
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32650) - you deserved it (22723)

On 08/23/2014 at 8:28am - work - by in big trouble - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41087) - you deserved it (4804)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23608) - you deserved it (43694)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21875) - you deserved it (37751)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19028) - you deserved it (44413)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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