Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

groovy579

Online | Search for a member

groovy579

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6706
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

groovy579's page activity

Visits<b>poopnpoop</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 9:30pm<b>hallison_13</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:34am<b>detectivedipsiht</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 7:49pm<b>Ironmayhem</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:29am<b>angeljade1234</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Blake9250</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:52pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 5:42pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 4:03am<b>moomen</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:08pm<b>fatimeshala</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 9:28am<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:13am<b>julako</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 6:51pm<b>lirideout</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:48pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:21am<b>91hayek</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:51pm<b>Nicholas12</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 4:31pm<b>echosong</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 2:27pm

groovy579's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of groovy579's badges

groovy579's favorite FMLs

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22667) - you deserved it (39649)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46864) - you deserved it (3540)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36236) - you deserved it (2686)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32257) - you deserved it (2388)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

#21249182
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32703) - you deserved it (2197)

On 08/31/2014 at 5:51pm - work - by Happy Employee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (3199)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML

#21247811
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27350) - you deserved it (10481)

On 08/29/2014 at 11:38am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37216) - you deserved it (4995)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

#21247445
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35410) - you deserved it (4678)

On 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm - love - by ch4nny (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37980) - you deserved it (2790)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42645) - you deserved it (4923)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

#21246638
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20029) - you deserved it (41329)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm - misc - by Woops (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML

#21246592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32705) - you deserved it (2721)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35323) - you deserved it (34008)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: