groovy579

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Offline (the 09/22/2015 at 10:18pm)

groovy579

1Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 30807
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

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groovy579's page activity

Visits<b>CLLopez</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:58pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:28pm<b>WellThatWasRude</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:53pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:19pm<b>tamesenicole</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Mossygirl357</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:23am<b>ShadowlessSpear</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>OMG_ZOMBIES</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:36pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:29pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:28am<b>Blake9250</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:48am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:53pm<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 3:41pm<b>hduebdo</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 7:07pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:31pm<b>NicholausB</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:26pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 11:15am

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:28am

groovy579's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of groovy579's badges

groovy579's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

by Catsfordays / 08/20/2015 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my dad remarried, but he didn't want me to come. I'm told he didn't want me to ruin his pictures or make his guests feel uncomfortable, all because I had my leg amputated in April. FML

by LoveIsOneSided / 08/18/2015 at 12:39am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

by bruised / 08/15/2015 at 11:47am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I got in trouble for punching my sister. Apparently, it still counts if it's in Minecraft and she looked like she was going to steal my stuff. FML

by RobotUnicorn1209 / 08/14/2015 at 3:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm lying awake at 2 in the morning listening to the police helicopter circle my house yet again. I recently moved near quiet woodland to escape the traffic noise that disturbed my sleep. Quiet woodland where apparently the local criminals play midnight hide-and-seek with the police. FML

by melons / 08/10/2015 at 9:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my brother let me fly his two day old, expensive drone. Within a minute I had crashed it into a potato field. Four hours of searching and we still haven't found it. FML

by oh great / 08/09/2015 at 11:23am / United Kingdom (Doncaster) / Money

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 12:02am / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, I responded to an argument with my girlfriend by only using comebacks she'd used in previous arguments. I'm single now. FML

by Cygnus / 08/03/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML

by hook me up with some smack, Jack / 08/01/2015 at 2:18am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

by TheAce44 / 07/26/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

by Lucachoo / 07/25/2015 at 8:22pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to my girlfriend's job to surprise her for lunch, her manager said she hasn't worked on a Saturday in two months. FML

by WhoLikesPie / 07/25/2015 at 11:51am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

by suspended / 07/24/2015 at 8:59pm / United States (Colorado) / Work