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groovy579

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groovy579

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  • Number of visits : 7647
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

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groovy579's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to school without makeup. No one recognized me. FML

#17781243
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15540) - you deserved it (39686)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:16pm - misc - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, I was at Wal-Mart walking around when I slipped on some water and twisted my ankle. As I was getting up, a man comes up to me and said "There's some water on the floor, watch out." FML

#17770342
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25355) - you deserved it (3107)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:20am - misc - by yeahhhhhommmie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (8248)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter-in-law revealed to me that she caught my husband having an affair with her best friend. This was five years ago, and she is only telling me now because he stopped paying her the blackmail money to keep her mouth shut. FML

#17761780
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35210) - you deserved it (2307)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:43am - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36203) - you deserved it (23302)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

#17737867
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23002) - you deserved it (5980)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by steph - China

Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

#17729862
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22829) - you deserved it (9681)

On 09/12/2011 at 6:32pm - misc - by justhereforlaughs (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85308) - you deserved it (13082)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20884) - you deserved it (236182)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

#17688076
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25151) - you deserved it (6902)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40114) - you deserved it (2048)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8655) - you deserved it (28461)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

#17639388
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (2674)

On 09/01/2011 at 9:55pm - misc - by Starving Ultimatum (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30848) - you deserved it (3373)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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