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groovy579

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groovy579

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  • Number of visits : 7793
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

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groovy579's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16601) - you deserved it (24111)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

#17932386
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12733) - you deserved it (39686)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:49am - work - by Laura - United States

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25127) - you deserved it (3245)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

#17888360
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18093) - you deserved it (12820)

On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

#17857316
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16532) - you deserved it (51020)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34915) - you deserved it (2786)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, my mom called me a bastard, told me I should run away, and said I don't deserve to live in her house. All because I didn't use a plate when I ate a Poptart. FML

#17832717
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29962) - you deserved it (3909)

On 09/25/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by sadkid - United States

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

#17817623
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26086) - you deserved it (2503)

On 09/24/2011 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML

#17815777
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25552) - you deserved it (4985)

On 09/23/2011 at 8:32pm - misc - by yeah_im_mad_bro - Canada (Ontario)

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

#17811635
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38325) - you deserved it (11352)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

#17809445
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32824) - you deserved it (5386)

On 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm - love - by Storm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (15037)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom made me teach my delusional gran web browsing. I barely made it to YouTube before she sneered at me, and told me to "stop pissing about before I smash your face in." Two hours and multiple slaps later, she still doesn't get what a URL is, and I fear for my life. FML

#17783230
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (2592)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to school without makeup. No one recognized me. FML

#17781243
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15542) - you deserved it (39687)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:16pm - misc - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, I was at Wal-Mart walking around when I slipped on some water and twisted my ankle. As I was getting up, a man comes up to me and said "There's some water on the floor, watch out." FML

#17770342
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25361) - you deserved it (3108)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:20am - misc - by yeahhhhhommmie (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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