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groovy579

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groovy579

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  • Number of visits : 6550
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

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groovy579's favorite FMLs

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

#15341200
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29399) - you deserved it (4185)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm - animals - by MacGrouber (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

#15334781
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43163) - you deserved it (3484)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:53am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

#15272926
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27701) - you deserved it (2570)

On 03/11/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by ieatoreos -

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

#15251436
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16255) - you deserved it (38198)

On 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by anonymouse - Reserved

Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML

#15239631
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8032) - you deserved it (89691)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

#15238370
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31430) - you deserved it (3753)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:32am - animals - by ghoul -

Today, my babysitter called to inform me that my grandfather is stalking her. FML

#15237073
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29224) - you deserved it (2543)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by ToxicSuicide (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13542) - you deserved it (41590)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML

#15226088
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38773) - you deserved it (5487)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by dizzy (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I went to a rave where apparently one of my favorite rappers was supposed to perform. I stood in line for 2 hours in the rain, got pushed and shoved, and had to witness a bunch of drunken idiots puke all over the place. Once I finally got to the front of the line, they closed the doors. FML

#15214634
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30088) - you deserved it (5997)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:25am - misc - by bullllllshittttt (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36599) - you deserved it (12455)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML

#15170920
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36206) - you deserved it (2989)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by Acesup111 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML

#15165493
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12898) - you deserved it (36165)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:18pm - health - by Baileyy - United States

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

#15149183
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29516) - you deserved it (8597)

On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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