Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

groovy579

Search for a member

groovy579

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4557
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

groovy579's page activity

Visits<b>Ironmayhem</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:29am<b>angeljade1234</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Blake9250</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:52pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 5:42pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 4:03am<b>moomen</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:08pm<b>fatimeshala</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 9:28am<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:13am<b>julako</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 6:51pm<b>lirideout</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:48pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:21am<b>91hayek</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:51pm<b>Nicholas12</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 4:31pm<b>echosong</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 2:27pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:24am<b>jerryj</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 3:38pm<b>ThatBlondeChick7</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 1:41am<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 6:33pm

groovy579's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of groovy579's badges

groovy579's favorite FMLs

Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML

#21161379
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39870) - you deserved it (4917)

On 06/03/2014 at 4:56am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML

#21160529
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49640) - you deserved it (4114)

On 06/02/2014 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked a student to an office on the other side of the school. I'm the kind of person who would rather make conversation than endure awkward silence, so I tried to talk to him. He just stared intently at my chest the whole time. FML

Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML

#21160325
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41477) - you deserved it (4230)

On 06/02/2014 at 10:00am - love - by CorCelesti (woman) - United States

Today, I searched up ways to fix my eyebrows since they were so bushy and thick. I took my tweezers and set to work. It went to shit. So now, I have one completely straight eyebrow that makes me look like Bert from Sesame Street and another that's arched like Nina Dobrev's. FML

Today, my boyfriend's mother hung a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend up. We've been together for 3 years now. Guess she really does hate me. FML

#21160163
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48624) - you deserved it (3750)

On 06/02/2014 at 3:33am - misc - by really?? - United States (California)

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

#21159630
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42624) - you deserved it (11162)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:15pm - work - by ugh - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48165) - you deserved it (5092)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got written up for asking my coworker a question that I should have asked my boss to ask my coworker. Yay bureaucracy. FML

#21159568
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38976) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:03pm - work - by not paid enough (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46771) - you deserved it (4932)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

#21159292
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45663) - you deserved it (4709)

On 06/01/2014 at 12:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57612) - you deserved it (8247)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

#21159082
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33695) - you deserved it (8526)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:28am - animals - by Fat Arsed Lass - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, at work, a lady approached me asking if I'd found a used cloth diaper on a table, and I told her it was probably in the trash. She said "That's okay, I can wash it." So I searched through several bags of trash, and when I couldn't find it, she said "Oh never mind! It's in my bag." FML

#21158865
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39697) - you deserved it (4198)

On 06/01/2014 at 12:13am - work - by cootiequeen (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: