Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

groovy579

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

groovy579

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7617
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

groovy579's page activity

Visits<b>NicholausB</b> - yesterday at 11:28pm<b>WolfyGrace</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:36am<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 5:59pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 5:39pm<b>kelseythompson</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 5:45am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:39pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 3:00am<b>serslybro</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 2:41am<b>poopnpoop</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 9:30pm<b>hallison_13</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:34am<b>detectivedipsiht</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 7:49pm<b>Ironmayhem</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:29am<b>angeljade1234</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Blake9250</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:52pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 5:42pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 4:03am<b>moomen</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:08pm

groovy579's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of groovy579's badges

groovy579's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39280) - you deserved it (5859)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

#21244154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38434) - you deserved it (3057)

On 08/24/2014 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49396) - you deserved it (5609)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML

#21243667
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32679) - you deserved it (22763)

On 08/23/2014 at 8:28am - work - by in big trouble - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41915) - you deserved it (4827)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23655) - you deserved it (27)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21898) - you deserved it (37856)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19042) - you deserved it (44506)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45765) - you deserved it (5145)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64534) - you deserved it (4109)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42065) - you deserved it (5965)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (44702)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40808) - you deserved it (4567)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I complained to my two roommates about housework not being done. They both put their hands over their ears and started screaming at the top of their voice. They do this pretty much whenever I say anything to them. FML

#21238842
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39594) - you deserved it (4880)

On 08/16/2014 at 8:10am - misc - by Jenn (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: