grogers311

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grogers311

7Fucked!

grogers311grogers311
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1984
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About grogers311 : Bass player.
Dad.
Star Wars nerd.

grogers311's page activity

Visits<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 1:28pm<b>dillonfi</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 1:38am<b>shanewh40</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:09am<b>sorryheadphones</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 12:20pm<b>pinkwho</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:09am<b>socalchic420</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 4:43am<b>Jen092</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 8:22am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 8:19am<b>MTJY</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 6:36pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 11:28am<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 10:02am<b>davie94</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 11:28pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 11:40am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:22am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:01am<b>fukcyuo</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 1:48pm<b>mothershark</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 8:01am<b>sjanoosawruzz</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 3:23am

Fucked!<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:38am<b>tha_real_lion</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:11pm<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:23pm<b>FordGirl98</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:12am<b>whitetiger13131</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:05am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:13am

grogers311's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of grogers311's badges

grogers311's favorite FMLs

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! / 02/01/2015 at 11:17am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2015 at 2:37pm / Guam / Love

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

by .__. / 12/07/2014 at 3:10am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

by anon / 08/31/2014 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

by thoughthewasjoking / 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm / United States (Alabama) / Money

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

by oops / 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm / Cura?ao / Work

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

by AJL / 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML