Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

grogers311

Online | Search for a member

grogers311

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1232
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

grogers311's page activity

Visits<b>Risea</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:26pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:13am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:35pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:23pm<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:14pm<b>dealwithit15</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 3:40am<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 10:06am<b>fandomsobese</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 5:42pm<b>Agnesia</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:56pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:14am<b>Febrezed</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:27pm<b>dragonkisses28</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:23pm<b>sammy1021</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:47pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 6:34pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 1:41am<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 9:13pm<b>rachelpayne18</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 6:30pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:41am

Liked!<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:13am

grogers311's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of grogers311's badges

grogers311's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML

#21358578
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13463) - you deserved it (55935)

On 02/18/2015 at 1:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43127) - you deserved it (2980)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (3277)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

#21332729
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39189) - you deserved it (3150)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Guam

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21224) - you deserved it (33980)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40933) - you deserved it (4487)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40687) - you deserved it (5682)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48287) - you deserved it (3994)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47654) - you deserved it (5391)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38429) - you deserved it (14849)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22885) - you deserved it (39538)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18877) - you deserved it (35794)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15048) - you deserved it (72482)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35285) - you deserved it (2925)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: