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grogers311

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grogers311
  • Town/Country : Michigan
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 386
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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grogers311's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34922) - you deserved it (5491)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41970) - you deserved it (7408)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43648) - you deserved it (4550)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me for months. It all started while I was in the hospital, he says, because we were supposed to go out that day, but then I "had to go and get sick". He blames my emergency surgery for his infidelity. FML

#20547926
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34795) - you deserved it (2596)

On 03/17/2013 at 4:12pm - love - by need an appendickectomy (woman) - Finland

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

#20453308
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37271) - you deserved it (6146)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17444) - you deserved it (24374)

On 11/14/2012 at 6:39am - misc - by hclagopus (man) - Norway

Today, our kids left for the weekend so that my wife and I could have some much-needed alone time. We've been fighting a lot recently and really need some time to have fun together. Now it turns out that she doesn't want to be around me because of the fighting. FML

#20123973
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17005) - you deserved it (4877)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by marriedtoacunt (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21291) - you deserved it (1619)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23573) - you deserved it (29055)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

#17521930
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23551) - you deserved it (4646)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

#15571420
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (9907)

On 03/31/2011 at 3:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44836) - you deserved it (8003)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my band got booed off stage. FML

#12470997
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17801) - you deserved it (32409)

On 08/12/2010 at 2:53am - work - by malos - United States

Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML

#12008337
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11392) - you deserved it (66913)

On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

#6927698
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5391) - you deserved it (65537)

On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States



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