Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

grogers311

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

grogers311

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1494
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

grogers311's page activity

Visits<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:01am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 5:53pm<b>jckxzie</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:36pm<b>PinkWalls</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:04pm<b>FordGirl98</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:46pm<b>MTJY</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 4:12am<b>thatoneguy8888</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:02am<b>sorryheadphones</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm<b>Brinibaby13</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:56am<b>SaltyJuice</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 2:16pm<b>LappDance</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:20pm<b>brishtilovescats</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:11am<b>romaique</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:26am<b>gichikku</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:07am<b>rozline96</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 9:07am<b>garrett_8614</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 1:53am<b>maisha111</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 12:59am

Fucked!<b>FordGirl98</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:12am<b>whitetiger13131</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:05am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:13am

grogers311's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of grogers311's badges

grogers311's favorite FMLs

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

#21417851
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29450) - you deserved it (2491)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML

#21397585
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (3153)

On 04/21/2015 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Notthatone (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24786) - you deserved it (7924)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I googled for an hour how to open my CD player on my laptop. Turns out, there is none. They just put a space there to make it look like a CD player. FML

#21372194
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28296) - you deserved it (5934)

On 03/10/2015 at 11:03pm - misc - by Blonde - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36096) - you deserved it (3270)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13962) - you deserved it (48831)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML

#21358578
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13647) - you deserved it (57393)

On 02/18/2015 at 1:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43608) - you deserved it (3002)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30505) - you deserved it (3309)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

#21332729
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40603) - you deserved it (3554)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Guam

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21274) - you deserved it (34097)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41044) - you deserved it (4498)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44740) - you deserved it (7037)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48408) - you deserved it (4003)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: