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Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28318) - you deserved it (4709)
On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (2034)
On 12/11/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by surprise (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11488) - you deserved it (15075)
On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11513) - you deserved it (32019)
On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (6311)
On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to lie to my dentist about how often I brush my teeth. I honestly don't remember the last time I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4708) - you deserved it (80346)
On 10/28/2009 at 10:54pm - health - by mintyfresh (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32762) - you deserved it (9723)
On 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm - work - by mcdeez (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11697) - you deserved it (33850)
On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45763) - you deserved it (6354)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41522) - you deserved it (5718)
On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37666) - you deserved it (61593)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone falls silent as my dad begins to pray for our meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39387) - you deserved it (3752)
On 07/19/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Churizmo - United States
Today, I found a website that lets you write an email to yourself from "the past". I used my boss's address, and wrote a long email about how much I hate him, signed from me. It worked, and he'll receive it in 6 months, after I move away. He's already received the confirmation email, though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6513) - you deserved it (39474)
On 07/15/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Alex - United States (Virginia)
Today, I discovered that the hearing in my left ear is still good. I haven't been able to hear that well out of it for 2 weeks and I thought I popped an eardrum and waited for it to heal. I stuck a Q-Tip in there to clean it out. Turns out there was actually a dead fly in my ear. For 2 weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46544) - you deserved it (9073)
On 06/22/2009 at 9:13pm - health - by JK710 - United States (Georgia)
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34278) - you deserved it (12102)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Friday 24 May 2013
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