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Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18151) - you totally deserved it (1426)
On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - misc - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at a school rally I was talking to my friends when I noticed the entire gym had gotten quiet. Not knowing why I thought it would be funny to yell out "it's too quiet!" apparently it was a moment of silence for a teacher that had recently died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3096) - you totally deserved it (30473)
On 02/04/2010 at 10:12pm - misc - by ... - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I couldn't use my normal subway exit stairway. There was a homeless man blocking the exit, furiously shitting and wiping his ass with newspaper. I can never un-see this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23390) - you totally deserved it (1221)
On 02/04/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by subwayrider (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I helped my little sister sell chocolate bars for her school. We went up to this one house and rang the door bell, a man wearing a robe answers the door and was going to buy one. He went to get the money and left the door open, then we saw our happily married mother in the kitchen naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32239) - you totally deserved it (895)
On 02/03/2010 at 7:30pm - misc - by Mac (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20983) - you totally deserved it (20698)
On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33633) - you totally deserved it (2612)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4037) - you totally deserved it (19548)
On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15393) - you totally deserved it (3386)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8024) - you totally deserved it (20145)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you totally deserved it (1192)
On 01/24/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3259) - you totally deserved it (30936)
On 01/13/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by Joe (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14914) - you totally deserved it (17664)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14716) - you totally deserved it (6979)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I sent a christmas card to my husband's uncle and aunt. I'd forgotten that the uncle died last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5258) - you totally deserved it (17021)
On 12/20/2009 at 6:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'i hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21522) - you totally deserved it (6541)
On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)
