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Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113372) - you deserved it (6689)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97183) - you deserved it (56303)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55101) - you deserved it (5533)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While Im brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40309) - you deserved it (20758)
On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17340) - you deserved it (31353)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by RosaP (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177812) - you deserved it (61436)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31096) - you deserved it (3215)
On 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15350) - you deserved it (1217)
On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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