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griffins33

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griffins33
  • Town/Country : Colbert , United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 873
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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griffins33's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29553) - you deserved it (5827)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

#18872810
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31128) - you deserved it (3887)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

#18871908
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24159) - you deserved it (3571)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

#18810141
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19497) - you deserved it (1646)

On 01/14/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by ohlordhelpmenow (woman) - United States

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19196) - you deserved it (32200)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18260) - you deserved it (28318)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39783) - you deserved it (27805)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42555) - you deserved it (6478)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15943) - you deserved it (77909)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

#15228646
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8827) - you deserved it (29143)

On 03/07/2011 at 11:17am - misc - by thenotsomanlyman - United States

Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML

#14944563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9837) - you deserved it (36813)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by courtbabbbby (woman) - United States

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (54072)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35543) - you deserved it (1562)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States



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